Sunday, January 3, 2016

How Do We Keep the Spark in Marriage?

Dave and I have an amazing love story, well I think we do. I won Dave on the radio in 1996 and though it was not love at first sight, that first date was the beginning of our romance novel. We didn't date right away, in fact, it took us six years to finally admit what others could see so clearly, and he and I finally became we.

We love our story and I think that we talk about it often is part of what keeps our love alive - we always remember why we fell in love with each other. But there is more to it than just reminiscing, Dave and I intentionally hug each other every day and we pay attention to the times when it seems like it's been longer than usual that we've been intimate and both of us initiate a reconnection.

We get busy and when stress levels start to rise, it's tough to tune into your partner, relax and get into a sexy headspace. The problem is, the longer you go not tuning in to each other, the harder it is to reinvest in each other. For us, it's always okay to say, "I'm not up to it tonight" but we will likely follow up with a conversation that sets a mood for the next few days. A little flirting, some sexy texts, and some planning to make time with each other alway works.

Ultimately, we keep talking and touching. There is some effort that goes into keeping our love alive but it's not work, it's not that thing that you hear people say, "Marriage is work, you have to work at it." It's the kind of effort that you put into letting someone know you love them, you still find them attractive and sexy, and you still want them. Letting Dave know I love him and I love us is not work, I always want him to know how I feel, even if it takes a little more on my part, I will go the extra mile.

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