Thursday, June 30, 2011

Orange Road: Be A Regular!

Wherever it is, be a regular! It can be at a gym, a restaurant, a local coffee house or a book store where you linger a little while to read. People who get to know the staff and other regulars at a favorite place make new friends. I know it sounds silly, but think about Cheers and other sitcoms that make this point beautifully.

We've spent the whole month looking at ways you can meet new people and possibly fall in love. To wrap this up, I'm going to go back to my original post that it starts with you! You have to feel good about yourself and where you are in your life to attract those same qualities in a partner, lover, husband/wife, and even just new friends. Welcome to July and a new Dream Not Come True!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Orange Road: Join A Coed Sports Team

There is a sport for everyone! Get involved in doing something you enjoy and meet new people while you're doing it. I've played softball, bowled on a team in a fun league, and snow skied with a group.

There is something for everyone from joining a walking group to extreme sports such as base jumping. Doing something you love to do and meeting other people who like to do it, too sets you up for win-win situation. To me, this is obvious but that may not be true for you. Break out of your comfort zone and position yourself to be the new kid on the team. Let someone take you under their wing and introduce you to the regulars. It can certainly make you feel vulnerable, but isn't that a good thing when you are looking for love? Love is vulnerable. I don't expect you will fall in love with the first person you meet, but I am proposing that you allow yourself to be vulnerable in a non-intimate relationship in preparation for a more intimate relationship in your (hopefully near) future.

This Orange Road is good for your health and your heart; both literally and metaphorically!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Orange Road: Learn To Dance

I always feel like taking classes is a good thing to do, but learning to dance is something you have to interact with the other people in the class - how much more perfect can a situation be for meeting new people?

Choose a style of dancing that interests you and turn up the music. When you take a dance class, not only will you learn the steps, but you will also learn where to go to practice. I was in a Mexican restaurant with Diana in Reno and a group of people started to gather near our table. They were meeting there to practice swing dancing! I was surprised that it didn't appear to be a designated dance floor, but they made good use of the clear floor space. Look for a Learning Exchange or local Adult School, I'm certain there are dance classes nearby and oftentimes you can find free dance lessons at some bars that promote dancing.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Host A Singles Party

I just think this is a fabulous idea and every single person who wants to meet other single people could do this. Plan a singles party, invite all your friends and ask them to each bring a single friend. If you have friends who are part of a couple, they need to each bring a single friend. Can you see how much fun this could be? If you know ten people, that's ten new, single people you could be meeting.

Plan a simple cocktail party or do something more elaborate - it's up to you! If you don't live somewhere that would facilitate a party, maybe one of your friends will host the party for you. Heck, make it super simple and have the party in a restaurant bar or even in a local park. You are only limited by your imagination so get to it, host the party where you will meet the love of your life!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Orange Road: Visualization Of Your Love

I am a firm believer in the law of attraction. I saw The Secret and frankly, I thought something was missing; action! Since IWIL is all about taking action, I decided to share with you what I liked a lot about the film; the suggestion that you create a vision board or some other visual for you to view every day of the life you want to create.

Artist and good friend of mine Brenda Boles did just that for a client looking for love!

Brenda painted the visual idea her client had for herself in love, the painting titled Amore. You can see the painting here and as you can tell, it's both specific yet open. I think the art itself is not only a spectacular example of Brenda's work, but also an equally wonderful example of a woman taking action to put her longing for real love in her home in such a beautiful way.

You can learn more about Brenda at and follow her blog here.

*Please note that all of Brenda's work is copyrighted and use without her sole permission is prohibited.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Orange Road: Happy Hour!

Go to a local happy hour - make dinner of happy hour appetizers and if you don't drink, have a soda, coffee, iced tea or water. The point is to get out, meet new people and have fun! This is a great way to unwind after work, enjoy a little something to eat (some places provide enough to make a full meal!), and meet new people. Check out a few different places to see where people go and most importantly, find a place where you feel comfortable.

I used to love to go to a local Mexican restaurant with one of my girlfriends after work. In the summer months, the fruity margaritas were the drink specials and the happy hours goodies were delicious. We could easily spend an hour and a half to two hours and not spend more than $8.00!

It doesn't matter if you have a half hour or two hours, get out with some friends and mingle, it's low pressure and fun!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Local Politics - Get Involved!

Okay, I'll admit, this is an Orange Road that's not for everyone, but if you are interested in politics, get involved on a local level. There is always something going on with the government whether it's the Barking Dog ordinance that needs voting on or something on a larger scale.

If this subject interests you, get involved. The best part about meeting new people this way is if you connect with chemistry, you will have a built in common ground - two actually, volunteering and your party of choice!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Orange Road: Community Service Day

I love this idea! Single or not, plan a day of community service. It could be to help some elderly folks with projects around their homes, or cleaning up an area that needs some love. Work with your local Chamber of Commerce to get the business community involved and post the details on all your social media sites. Take it a step further and call your local news stations, ask them to help you get the word out and I bet you will get lots of helping-hands!

If you've been following IWIL for any amount of time, you know that I base my initial thoughts on volunteering and education. Heading up a volunteer project like this will do so many things; you will meet many new people, you will be giving of yourself, you will be enhancing the lives of the people benefiting from the project, and did I say you will be meeting new people - lots of new people? I know I did, I just wanted to emphasize that particular point. This is one Orange Road that will be worth the trip paying dividends far beyond what meets the eye!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Orange Road: Volunteer At Summer Camp

I like this idea but I know it's not for every one. Summer camps are not only fun for the young people who get to go, they can be a great place to take a vacation as an adult. Okay, this won't be the vacation where you get to lay around and read for a week, but if you like to keep busy, teach, and play, this just might be your golden ticket!

Not only do summer camps offer you the opportunity to make a difference in a young person's life (that's pretty cool all by itself!), but it also positions you to meet new people and spend a week or two getting to know them. I went to a couple of summer camps as a pre-teen and the adults that were there were wonderful role models even if only in my life for a week or two.

Think about this for next summer. Look up summer camps in your area and find out what you need to do to be a camp counselor, or even just play a supporting role in the kitchen or administrative capacity. There are sleep-away summer camps in addition to day and weekend camps on a smaller scale. You can find camps with a religious focus along with many other specific topics. If you love young people, this is a great way to give back and possibly meet someone who wants to make a difference like you do!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Orange Road: Business Networking

Whatever it is you do for a living, get out and network in social situations. Social media sites like Facebook and Twitter provide for meetings and TweetUps for professionals to get together and mingle and network. This is a great opportunity to do business if you want, possibly meet someone special, and make new friends. If you work in a job that you wouldn't normally network or develop business, go anyway, it's a great way to learn about other opportunities and it may make you more appealing to talk to as you won't be selling anything!

I personally love networking events. I've been to restaurants, hotels, personal (beautiful I might add) homes, and even at the zoo! The zoo was especially fun! Use the new forms of connecting with people to do just that, connect with people!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Just To Be Clear

I started this topic off with the basics of what I believe is key to finding lasting love - it starts with you and your attitude. If you are in a good place in your life, ready to welcome someone in to enhance and compliment your experiences, then love will come. I do not believe that love is something one needs to be complete or whole, you are perfect in all your own glory.

When you meet new people, all of them (not just those you think may be a "candidate"),be present, bright, exercise good eye contact, and offer a confident hand shake. All of these components make up a great first impression. Being present will lay a good foundation for being interested along with interesting.

With that said, let's get to some of the fun things you can do, the Orange Roads you can travel to meet new people and open up more lines of communication.

What's your faith? Church is one of the most perfect places to meet new people. I've heard it a hundred times, "There's no one in my church that's right for me." That might be true (if you believe it, it's absolutely true!), but the people who are not right for you may know someone who is. If you don't want to ask to be introduced, visit a neighboring city and go to a service you don't usually attend. If there is some kind of social activity that goes along with your service, go. How wonderful to connect with someone who shares your spiritual beliefs.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Opportunity Knocks!

Whether you realize it or not, you have opportunities to connect with people every day. You also may be overlooking the love of your life. My thoughts, from an Intentional Winning perspective, are that if you are tuned into who you want to be with, you will not only attract that person to you, but you will have people who fit that bill around you often. When you pay attention and purposefully put your best foot forward, you will see who is emanating that same energy.

Make the most of your opportunities no matter what comes up. If you are introduced to someone by a mutual friend or find yourself in a friendly chat in the line at the grocery store, get present and tune into what's happening. Don't be afraid to ask someone new if they want to grab a coffee or talk again soon. If you're told no, smile and move on. I bet if you're being your happy self, the answers will be yes more than they will be no. Ultimately, it's not a matter of if this person is the love of your life, what matters is that you have fun discovering who they are. Oh, and keep in mind, this person may not be
the one, but it's quite possible you will meet more new people through this date, even if it's just one!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What's Your Type?

You know the question, and you know the answer! We all have a look or type that we gravitate toward. For me, it was taller than me, dark hair, blue eyes, more muscular than skinny and a great smile. I added in he had to have a great sense of humor but there was never any mention of what was, is really important. What about, kind? Honest and ethical? Hard working and generous with his time and emotions would be good, too. The fact of the matter was, I was looking for what I was looking at and not someone to share my life with.

It's no coincidence that when I met Dave I was not physically attracted to him but I must have been at the beginning of my personal evolution because I had the good sense to see what a great guy he was (still is!) and invited him to remain friends with me. From there, I went on for another six years looking for someone to look at! In the meantime, Dave and I became friends, great friends and it wasn't long until I starting making the connection that the way Dave treated me, his kindness, honesty, work ethic and yes, his sense of humor were making him much more physically attractive. Though I began to hold every guy I dated to the "Dave Standard," I still didn't put he and I together as a couple until he told me he was planning to propose to another woman. Yes, that got my attention!

You all know how our story played out, the point here is that though you may think you are looking for more than what he or she looks like, is that the truth? If someone wants to introduce you to a friend of theirs, do you openly accept without asking, "What does s/he look like?" Ah-ha, I gotcha, didn't I? My advice would be to trust your friend who thinks this would be a good match and say yes. Go into the date putting your authentic self forward and give this other person a real chance. Ask questions and get to know more about this person, more than what they look like. After all, you are more than what you look like, although you really are gorgeous! So, if asked today, "What's your type?" my reply would be, "Kind."

Oh, and for the record, Dave was blond, root beer eyes, just barely taller than me but he did have a great smile!

Monday, June 6, 2011

It Starts With You!

Let me start this topic by saying I'm not a expert and I certainly don't have all the answers. I am sharing with you what I know and what I believe are good ways to position yourself to meet a great guy or gal. My only qualifications are that I spent years in my 20s and 30s going on fun, crazy, bad, and hilarious dates and I've been happily (extremely I might add!) married for ten years. With that said, I believe finding a great catch starts with being a great catch.

For you to be a great catch, you've got to be happy with yourself and where you are in your life. This doesn't mean that you have to be exactly where you want to be, but it does mean that you need to be happy with where you are on your journey. When you are happy, you are able to be in the moment wherever you are, being in a place of light and joy. If you can step back from your frustration of being the "single one" and embrace that you are with friends having a good time, you will be more apt to find yourself meeting new people. When I was single, I got to the point that I was happy where I was, really enjoying my time no matter what I was doing, but I still wasn't open to all possibilities, I was sizing guys up based on what they looked like, what they did for a living, and so on - more on this in my next post. For today, find happiness in where you are and if you still have work to do, focus on that, focus on you.

While you're on your way to the relationship of your dreams, find joy in you and your life now. Accept invitations to go out, talk to people in common places, and put yourself in a position to get to know people. I have lots of ideas and can't wait to dig in! It starts with you, to find a great catch, you've got to be a great catch and I know you are!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Finding Mr/s Right!

I've been thinking about this topic for the last few months and hesitated to use it because it seems to me there are all the classic ways to meet people, and if you're single, you know what they are. But as I have given this much thought, I believe I can show you some ways to think differently about meeting someone special, after all, that is what Intentional Winning in Life, and Love is all about!

For the month of June I will be sharing my ideas for how you can meet more people, have more fun, and hopefully find someone to share your life with. This is an audience participation exercise friends, tell me your stories and share your ideas. If you meet someone special as a direct result of tuning in to Intentional Winning, let me know. I love success stories.

Love is full of Orange Roads like accepting an invitation so your friend doesn't have to go alone, or landing in a class that is not what you thought you signed up for (but ended up loving). Let's see if we can find more than our usual posts for this month, maybe four a week instead of three. This is going to be fun and I hope you will not only comment on my posts but also invite your friends to join us, too!