Out With The Old, In With The New Year Cards

Out with the old (Christmas cards) and in with the New Year Cards! Really, I don't think I am never going to send Christmas cards again. The New Year card is the way to go. Welcome, 2019! #NotFailing #NewYearCards #ILoveThis

Why Not You?

I am certain we are always harder on ourselves than other people are on us, but let me ask you, how much confidence do you really have in yourself? Watching the Super Bowl a few years ago, Russell Wilson said (and the story was told about him many times that day) that his dad asked him, “Why not you Russell? Why not you?” He could have said, “Because I’m too small, because my arm isn’t strong enough…” he could have said to his father all the things his critics were telling him, but he didn’t. He held on to his dream and let his father’s voice echo in his head, “Why not you Russell?” This in turn became, “Why not me?” To his team, “Why not us?” So who are you? Are you like Russell Wilson or are you the one who caves in to the critics. Dave suggested that some people succeed to spite their critics. Okay, I suppose the "Tell me I can't and I'll show you I will!" isn't a bad thing, but why are we not all simply lifting each other up? I preach to Mason almost daily, "Are you a friend people want? Do you lift your friends up by encouraging them, or are you being the kid who will say, "Yours sucks, mines better!" Well, the truth of the matter is, he's a boy and a very competitive boy at that, he has to work to remember to not compete but to lift his friends up. It is my hope that by starting this message with him now, by the time he gets it, it will have shaped him to be someone who lifts others up and encourages them to ask, "Why not me?"

 

I’ve been the one who listens to all the people who say things like, “You can’t be an actress, you are not the right type, you are not tall enough, you are not thin enough, and you are not like a model.” “College isn’t really for you, eh, er, I mean, you are not really the college type.” “It would just be good if you could follow something through, you never follow through.” “Oh no, she has an idea, you know what that means, it’s gonna cost me money.”  Where does one find the strength to not listen to those naysayers while still loving them, and still have the gumption to ask, “Why not me? I can do it, I can be it, I’m enough.” Do you feel like you are enough? I don’t. I also don’t think that many women do, especially women who are wives and mothers. As women who feel so much responsibility for the lives of others, it is incredibly difficult to focus on anything else. Heck, truth be told, we can’t focus on any one thing because there are so many one things to do, how is it possible to focus on just one at a time? From keeping up with the housewifery, the kids school work, after school schedules, medical and dental appointments, grocery shopping, in my case, real estate that I am trying to do more of while working for another top producing agent, and more…so I’m told to drop some of these things and focus on me, my business, what I want. Really?

 

And where does talent play into this equation? Dave brought up the example of the people who audition for American Idol, the people who can not sing. Is it a good idea to encourage these people and set them up for failure? I would say in life, this example is more an exception than a rule. We live in a society that is not one of encouragement but of competition and the belief that we can make people stronger by continually knocking them down - some people, yes, others, no. And to the singing point, certainly not everyone can sing, as I well know! But could we encourage one to sing for pleasure yet say, "Singing may not be your professional calling - how can you craft a career around music so you can be in the environment that you love and feel successful?" Again, it's all in how it's done, and keeping the message positive.

 

So let me be very clear, I am not complaining. What I am hoping my message will come across as is this, if we really see big things and lots of potential in someone, why don't we focus on growing that? Let's not focus on the failures, or what appears to be shortcomings, let's focus on continuing to encourage the ideas for success - no matter what someone else might judge or evaluate. Many will say without failure, success is impossible. I don't know if that's true, but I can attest to plenty of failure. Russell Wilson held on to the voices that were encouraging him and he dismissed those that told him he wasn't good enough, big enough, strong enough, or enough enough. Let's all take a moment today to first acknowledge that we are enough and can be anything that we want, and second, find someone else to lift up and encourage - really make it matter, touch them, look them in the eye and make sure you have their attention and lift them up. Be the voice they can hold on to next time someone tells them they are not enough.

Is Recycling a Good Thing?

Of course it is, unless you are committed to writing a blog post every day in 2016 and you are drawing a blank. No, not drawing a blank, what is really happening is there are so many things you want to write about that you can't focus on just one of them long enough to craft what you really want to say.

I'm a writer and that paragraph above is not even well written, it's not you who is committed to writing every day, it's me. When I feel like I can't find what I'm looking for to put words to paper, I start to think about the hundreds of thoughts and ideas I've already posted that likely have not been read by anyone. Yes, I've been writing and blogging for a really long time. I started my Monday Motivator as a weekly email back in 1999. I uploaded it to a blog in 2007 (I think) and tried to upload as many previous emails as I could find. My MMs have all been read, but my Intentional Winning in Life blog posts have not all been read - I'm sure of it.

But I'm not going to recycle my writings unless I want to share and add to an earlier life thought. Reading back through old posts I find that as I continue to live and learn, some things change, while some things remain the same and I think, man, that's good! Did I really write that? Nice! 

With that, check out my earlier posts here and on my Monday Motivator and see what you think.

What Does Success Look Like?

RiverLights Originals

When I look around and see the amazing people I have surrounded myself with every day, I see how good they have it. Sure, we all have problems, but for the most part, my circle of friends is happy and successful. They are working, playing, traveling, basically living a pretty good life.

As I look toward the new year, I always reflect back on where I was and how far I've come. Sometimes it seems like I didn't make nearly the amount of progress I was hoping for, but I keep setting goals and working hard.

It's about that time I am feeling a bit like I was destined to be a "Have Not" when someone says to me, "You really inspire me! I love the way you are not afraid to get in the game and try. I wish I could be more like you." WOW! I hear that and I ask, "Did I inspire you to the point that you did get in the game? Did you do something you would not have had you not seen me step up?" I usually get a resounding "Yes!"

Some examples are when I posted photos of my hikes and how I am taking action to get fit. I ran into an acquaintance at the grocery store and she had clearly lost a significant amount of weight. I commented and she replied, "You inspired me. You posted every day and each time I thought, why am I not doing it too?" Another time my friend had applied for a job that was something she wanted to do but had not yet had the experience on her resume. She was nervous when she got the interview because she felt like she didn't have talking points applicable to the new company. She went into the interview and told me that she channeled me and the way I can plug in life experiences to make an example of something. She spoke about examples in life and other jobs that she was able to make metaphors for the new job and show the interviewer that she has the skills - the people skills, the admin skills, the life skills that have nothing to do with the specific industry. Her excellent skills are applicable in many places and she remembered me advising her to ask for the position. She did and she is now excited to go to work every day.

With stories like this, how can I feel like I am not getting anywhere in this life? That is success on a grand scale! It makes me feel amazing and each time I feel like I am trying to run in quicksand, I will come back to this post and remember, these are just two people I've inspired to get ahead in their lives. What about you, do you feel successful? If you do, how do you gauge success?

What is Time?

What is time? Time is a measure in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them. Time is often referred to as the fourth dimension, along with the three spatial dimensions. What?! Laughing!

Time is the 24 hours we have each day and the seven days each week, that make up the 365 days we all have each year. Time is so relative, think about it, remember that day you had big plans after work and it seemed like the minutes were hours while you were at work? And then the way the minutes flew by once you were at your event with your friends? It;s how you think about it and how you live in it that makes it what it is for you. Time is just time, it is neither fast nor slow, it is the same for all of us. Do you have time? Can you make time? What time is it? Where did the time go?

When I think of time, I think of where I am and where I want to be. I've heard it said again and again, "It will take so long." Or, "By the time I get my degree, I will be too old to do anything with it." Nonsense! The fact of the matter is, the clock is always ticking, the next 60 seconds, 60 minutes, 60 hours, and 60 days are going to pass at the same rate they did last year and where will you be? You can start today toward where it is you want to go and when those 60 days pass, you will be closer to that goal. 

This is what I know about time; I know that I'm grateful for every day that I am still here with my family and friends. I know that the time I've spent living my ordinary life are some of my most treasured memories. I know that it does not take a long time to make a shift in my universe, no matter how small or how large, how I think about something in an instant can set things in motion whether I realize it or not. Time is why I write. I want my time to be documented for Mason and his family, I want them to know who we are and all the amazing things we did. For as time goes on, it is not kind to our minds, and these memories will change, and fade and eventually cease to exist. Time is precious, it is the most valuable gift you can give and it's important to give the gift to yourself sometimes. Don't you think it's about time?

The Power of Intention

New York, Central Park August 2015

Mason is just 12 years old, but he has spent all those 12 years watching and hearing me talk about the power of intention. He hears me frequently say, "Whatever you think, you're right!" It's my favorite quote. Even though Mason will squawk about something being difficult or life not being fair, I know he understands that his thoughts guide his actions which in turn, create the immediate outcomes for his life. I say immediate because contrary to popular belief, changes can happen in an instant. It is a combination of immediate outcomes that when they come together make a successful future.

While Mason and I were in NY for the Chopped Junior competition, we talked a lot about what an honor it was to just be invited to compete on Food Network. The morning of the competition Mason and I had a little chat in our hotel room. I said to him, "You know Mason, I am completely confident that you have everything you need to win this thing. You have practiced and studied, you have the skills. With that said, more than anything I want you to understand that it is cool just to be here and to have fun today." He hugged me and we went down to breakfast. We met the other kids and their moms and the staff in the hotel restaurant moved a little 2 person table to the end of an eight foot table and Mason and Hannah's mom sat at the little table. During breakfast Mason playfully announced, "Hey, there is 100% chance that the Chopped Junior champion is sitting at this table." All the kids chuckled and nodded and Mason added, "No, this table" as he placed both hands on the little table only he (as one of the kids) was sitting at. They all laughed but I got it, it gave me chills the way he calmly spoke with such conviction - he absolutely set his intention and went on to win the competition. Coincidence? Some would say yes, but not me.

Our kids absolutely mirror what they see, and they see more of us as their parents than other people, especially at younger ages. Mason is now starting to spend more time socializing with other people in other environments and he will often tell me, "Mom, they don't think like we do." That pleases me that he gets how much power he has to control his life, and I'm sure to also share that the things he can't control, he can control how he reacts to and what his next action is. That is just as important in the manifestation process, don't you think?

While I Was At The River...

While I was at the river, something happened. An e-mail came from someone who had seemed less than instrumental in my earlier quest with an introduction to one of the very people I was pushing to meet. WOW! I sure didn't see that coming. Of course I didn't, I was feverishly pushing on these other things barely looking up to see my family at dinnertime. How could I see anything while trying to force an outcome in one single area?

While I was at the river, something else happened. The introduction I mentioned above brought another of my ideas (one that had been on the back burner) back to life. Something new is happening on several fronts, all while the old projects are not dead, just not moving forward at my desired pace.

And yet another thing happened while I was at the river. I reconnected with a woman who upon giving her my full, undivided attention I learned she has a background in film production and would love nothing more than to work with me on my Intentional Winning project. Really!

None of this is a guarantee of any kind, but it is clear that when I stepped back and let the energy around me be, there are so many more options than what I had my laser focus on - therein lies the message of this post, travel all your roads with open eyes, an open heart, and an open mind. There is way more available to you than you can imagine. Where is your river? Go there and let go... see what happens when you do.

I Want To Get Published!

This dream came to me from several different people and each one of them had a different idea about what making their idea of this dream come true would mean. For Robin, it is to freelance for national magazines, and for Kevin, it's to have a New York Times Bestseller (non fiction is his genre). For me, I want my Intentional Winning in Life anthology published on the same scale as the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. That's not too much to ask now is it?

In today's day and age, being published is as easy as creating a blog (more details on the how-to of that in a separate post), but many don't see blogging as truly being published. That's neither here nor there, this month we are going to look at all the ways Robin, Kevin, you, and I can make our writing dreams come true. Whether it's to write a blog to simply document your life or to pen a phenomenal work of literary art, you can make it happen. Who knows, with lots of hard work and a little bit of luck, you just might make it all the way to number one on the New York Times bestseller list!

What Do You Think So Far?

My goal when I talk to someone about their Dream-Not-Come-True is to give them at least two ways they can bring their dream back to life right this very minute. To show them two Orange Roads that can be traveled immediately, from my perspective, is to give them hope that their dream coming true is not only still possible, but even probable!

In Dave's case it was easy to come up with more than two options and I think of more every day. I must confess, this one was a little easier for me because I love Dave and I've been working on helping him make his dream come true for many years.

What do you think so far? I'm loving this journey and I can't wait to learn and share about all the other Dreams-Not-Come-True this year. Share yours with me and your thoughts on the others! Come on, let's all get excited and think about what a great place this world will be when we are all living our dreams. It is possible, it truly is!

What Is Intentional Winning In Life?

Intentional Winning In Life - IWIL is the process of bringing your dreams to life right now by thinking about them differently.

So many of us had dreams when we were younger that for this reason or that, we let go of pursuing. Even as adults, things come up that seem exciting or worthwhile, but we believe we aren't qualified, don't have time to learn, don't have the money, or simply don't feel we can reach the goal. Whatever you think, you're right! So if you don't think you can do it, maybe you could think about it in a way that does seem doable to you. Just maybe, there is another way to bring that dream into reality.

Here's an example: Let's say your dream is to go from San Francisco, CA to New York, NY. Most would agree that the fastest, most direct route would be to travel eastbound on highway 80 in one strait shot - the pink road. You'll see a little piece of green on the pink route which is a planned detour where there's a break in highway 80. As we do this, plug in life goals and normal activities that come along the way such as going away to college, getting married, having kids, changing jobs, etc. If you think about each of the events in your life that stop your progress to your dream destination, it's easy to see how we get stalled and eventually "settle down" in Anytown USA along the way. If you look closely at a United States map, you will see that there are hundreds of other roads to get you to New York from San Francisco - the orange roads. Will it take longer? Yes. Will it cost more? Possibly. Will the journey be full of surprises? Absolutely! When you realize that all those other roads can get you where you want to go, you can see that not only can you make your dream come true, but you may also find other things that make you happy and bring you joy along the way.

I'm going to define IWIL a whole lot more as we continue through this year. I'm also going to show you many things you can do to restart the engine on your dream and start feeling it's joy this very minute! Let's get this show on the road and start discovering what the orange roads have to offer.

What's Coming In 2011?

2011 is going to bring focus to the Intentional Winning In Life (IWIL) blog. I've touched on this a little bit but now it's time to get down to business. Starting in January we're going to spend each month using the principles of IWIL to making dreams come true.

In January I'm going to introduce you to my husband Dave's dream that he's had since he was a fourteen year old boy. We're going to talk about when his dream was born, what he did to pursue it and what ultimately lead to him believing he would never see this dream come true. We will also look at other ways Dave could live this dream even if not in it's original form. This is going to not only be really fun, but it's going to give all of you a real feel for what IWIL is all about and how you can apply it in your life.

If you have a dream or goal that somehow seems like it's just not in the cards, e-mail me and I may use it as one of my monthly topics. Just think, you could have a whole month of IWIL dedicated to you!

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season and making the most of time with loved ones.

Kathy's "Curls of Wisdom"

"I'm going to bed to let the really wise Kathy work on this problem

while the can't sit still Kathy sleeps."

Sometimes you just have to stop working on a problem so the obvious (and likely best) solution can appear. Many times the only way I can truly stop, is to sleep. I wake up feeling less of the pressure and seeing more of my options, usually with one shining brightly!

Quotes That Resonate

"All emanates from Source! ...You're not this body and its accomplishments. You are the observer. Notice it all; and be grateful for the abilities you've been given, the motivation to achieve, and the stuff you've accumulated. But give all the credit to the power of intention, which brought you into existence."
~ Wayne Dyer

Happy 3rd Anniversary!

Guess what today is? Yes, it's November first. What else? It's the three year anniversary of my first Intentional Winning In Life blog post! Can you believe it's been three years? WOW! It just goes to show you that time is passing whether you take action or not. We see it with ZipperBack Gloves. How many of you have an idea that you've had for a long time, that's still just that, an idea? We see it with people around us who have taken their fitness goals seriously losing weight and being healthier. The clock is ticking so isn't right now the time to do that thing you really want to be doing?

Looking back over three years worth of posts about things I feel are important makes me realize how glad I am that I do take action. My personal blog The Monday Motivator (you can access it by using the link to the right) is another great example, Mason's entire life is documented week-by-week. Can you think of a better gift to a child? It truly is amazing when you realize that just a few small actions each day will lead to years of happiness and even more joy to look forward to!

As an anniversary gift, choose one of the things you want to pay more attention to and do something today! One small action will lead to another, and another until you have something concrete! Do it, go, right now! Come back and share with me what you did. I can't wait to hear!

Happy Halloween Friday!

Happy Halloween Friday! You all know I love Fridays and they are even better when there are parties planned. Dave and I have a party to go to this evening and then another tomorrow night. Dave picked out out costumes and will be surprising me. What do you think he has planned?

I'll post pictures on Monday and share all about our weekend. Do you have plans? I believe that planning and anticipating what's to come is what makes our lives rich and full. Heck, in many cases the anticipation is better than the event itself!

Speaking of plans, I'm planning an Intentional Winning In Life group that will meet twice a month for three months. I'm getting a group of people together to test out my ideas and see if people really can fulfill their dreams. I believe they can, we can! I'll keep you posted on our progress and hopefully this will grow into something everyone can do. In the meantime, Happy Halloween!

The Intentional Winning Group

As we head into a new week and I have a proposition for you; how would you like to start making your dreams come true right now? Yes! I'm starting an Intentional Winning In Life group that will meet twice a month with e-mail updates the other two weeks.

My plan is to work together to get the ball rolling on making your dreams come true and see some significant results within 90 days. If we start in November, that will have you well on your way by February 1st. How cool will it be to be two-thirds of the way to living your dreams instead of making a resolution to start on January 1st? Come on, I'll show you my plan and help you find a way to make your dream come true, no matter where you are in your life, you can do it!

If you don't want to join my group, but would like my two cents, send me your dream and why you haven't pursued or achieved it and I may select your dream for my blog in 2011. You don't have to send some major essay, just what your dream is/was and why you didn't follow through. Dave's is that he has always dreamed of being a Park Ranger in a national park. He got detoured by marriage and military deployments. It's that simple!

Quotes That Resonate

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success." - Thomas Watson

Thank you to IWIL reader Michele for this quote. She shared with me about the J.K. Rowling quote and as I read this, I got chills. At the rate I'm going, I should be wildly successful very soon! Big Friday Smiles!

2011 And Beyond!

All of you know about the Intentional Winning In Life concept and anthology book series plan. I'm ready to start sending that plan into action! November first marks the three year anniversary of writing this blog, can you believe it's been that long? Here's the plan and how you can help:

• Each month starting in January, I plan to take a specific topic, the topic of your dreams placed on hold, and show you in twelve posts (give or take) how to put that dream back to work making you happy!
  
  
• I need you to share with me what it was you wanted to be when you grew up, or a dream you realized later in life that for one reason or another you stopped pursuing. I also need to know why you came to believe you couldn't see it through.
  
  
• I also need you to put this call out to everyone you know in hopes that with your blessing, they will share their dreams "not" come true with me, too.
  
  

I'm going to pick ten of the most popular topics and two of the most unusual to work with next year. This will then become the foundation of what Intentional Winning In Life books will be about. Intentional Winning In Wine Making. Intentional Winning In Writing. Intentional Winning In Nursing. You get the idea. This is going to be really fun, and if I use your topic, how cool will it be to have a real road map to making your dreams come true?

Will you help me? Send me your dreams and why you are not pursuing them and send this request out to your family and friends. I can't wait to make things happen as this year wraps up and we welcome a new year!

Inspired!

Inspiration is one of those things that I get flashes of. If only I could feel the same inspired feelings I feel after a leadership retreat, or while listening to a really amazing speaker. I had such a weekend recently and today I am asking myself how I can keep those fires burning and apply them to all areas of my life. Here's a few of the ideas I came up with:

• Make a list of words that represent my values and hang it on my bathroom mirror. This will serve as a reminder at the beginning and end of my day.

• Keep a running log of one thing I've done each day to move me closer to my goals. These could be things like making a phone call to someone who could mentor me, sending out media kits to new prospects, or going to a yoga class.

• Continually surrounding myself with inspired people. We are what we think and when we are sharing our daily space with people who are making their dreams come true, you will continue to be inspired.

What do you do to stay inspired after an event that really fired you up? Share your thoughts and ideas, I'm listening!

How Far Will You Go?

I have put the intention out there that I will be meeting a national buyer at the trade show I am currently attending. I've never met him, I don't know what he looks like, though I did speak with him on the phone once. I'm not sure how I am going to make this happen but I know I'm going to. If I have to ask other buyers, walk the floor and try to read badges, whatever I have to do, I will.

How far would you go to get to the next level? Will you put yourself out there and risk being told no, or even being perceived as "pushy?" I know I will do whatever it takes and I will write next week and share with you what that ended up being! Intentional Winning in alive and well!