Monday, August 3, 2009

How Do You Motivate Somebody?

The truth is, you can only motivate someone who wants to be motivated. I'm told on a daily basis that I make a difference in people's lives, and that I inspire people to take action. I love that! I now know that my mission in life to use my ability to communicate and my bright outlook on life to motivate people to make their lives better.

I've met people who simply love to be in my company, but have no desire to do a single thing different in their lives. One person in particular stands out in my memory. A woman called me with a really serious issue. I listened to her tale, felt like I was being sympathetic, and gently offered up a solution. She didn't like that, she had three problems with my one solution. we talked a little more and again, I offered up an idea. No, not that one either. This went on for more than a 1/2 hour. At one point I asked her if what she wanted was for me to just listen or did she want help solving this problem. She assured me that she definitely wanted an answer, and that she appreciated my willingness to help. We went like this a little longer, I'd offer a solution and she would offer 3-5 problems with my solution. She didn't want to resolve this issue at all, she just wanted to spend time being cared for by me. She was caring for her "baby" (I call these problems with no solutions someones baby. They just want to keep it and care for it.) and wanted me to care for her.

It took me a long time to recognize that what makes some people happy is being unhappy. That's a choice but it's not my choice. Unfortunately, people like this don't make good company for those of us taking action, making things happen, and living a happy life. In fact, in my experience, these kinds of people draw from my energy source limiting my ability to motivate those of you who really want to be lifted up and cheered on. In the end, you can't move someone forward who is happy right where they are. My suggestion is to move on and continue to be happy where you are and where you're going, because I know you are on your way to somewhere really wonderful!

2 comments:

Tania Reynaert said...

ohh there are so many energy suckers out there ;-)

And yep, I even have family members who are not happy unless they are miserable :-)

I don't give much of my time to people like this anymore.

Three attempts to help with something ( benefit of the doubt)and then I am done :-)

These people want you to take their problem, fix it and hand it back to them when you are done..until the next problem arises...usually within a day or so ;-)

sorry...Tania don't play dat game no more :-)

Kathy said...

Amen sister! You and I are the family we would choose...if we got to choose! Laughing!