Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What's Your Type?

You know the question, and you know the answer! We all have a look or type that we gravitate toward. For me, it was taller than me, dark hair, blue eyes, more muscular than skinny and a great smile. I added in he had to have a great sense of humor but there was never any mention of what was, is really important. What about, kind? Honest and ethical? Hard working and generous with his time and emotions would be good, too. The fact of the matter was, I was looking for what I was looking at and not someone to share my life with.

It's no coincidence that when I met Dave I was not physically attracted to him but I must have been at the beginning of my personal evolution because I had the good sense to see what a great guy he was (still is!) and invited him to remain friends with me. From there, I went on for another six years looking for someone to look at! In the meantime, Dave and I became friends, great friends and it wasn't long until I starting making the connection that the way Dave treated me, his kindness, honesty, work ethic and yes, his sense of humor were making him much more physically attractive. Though I began to hold every guy I dated to the "Dave Standard," I still didn't put he and I together as a couple until he told me he was planning to propose to another woman. Yes, that got my attention!

You all know how our story played out, the point here is that though you may think you are looking for more than what he or she looks like, is that the truth? If someone wants to introduce you to a friend of theirs, do you openly accept without asking, "What does s/he look like?" Ah-ha, I gotcha, didn't I? My advice would be to trust your friend who thinks this would be a good match and say yes. Go into the date putting your authentic self forward and give this other person a real chance. Ask questions and get to know more about this person, more than what they look like. After all, you are more than what you look like, although you really are gorgeous! So, if asked today, "What's your type?" my reply would be, "Kind."

Oh, and for the record, Dave was blond, root beer eyes, just barely taller than me but he did have a great smile!

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