It Starts With You!

Let me start this topic by saying I'm not a expert and I certainly don't have all the answers. I am sharing with you what I know and what I believe are good ways to position yourself to meet a great guy or gal. My only qualifications are that I spent years in my 20s and 30s going on fun, crazy, bad, and hilarious dates and I've been happily (extremely I might add!) married for ten years. With that said, I believe finding a great catch starts with being a great catch.

For you to be a great catch, you've got to be happy with yourself and where you are in your life. This doesn't mean that you have to be exactly where you want to be, but it does mean that you need to be happy with where you are on your journey. When you are happy, you are able to be in the moment wherever you are, being in a place of light and joy. If you can step back from your frustration of being the "single one" and embrace that you are with friends having a good time, you will be more apt to find yourself meeting new people. When I was single, I got to the point that I was happy where I was, really enjoying my time no matter what I was doing, but I still wasn't open to all possibilities, I was sizing guys up based on what they looked like, what they did for a living, and so on - more on this in my next post. For today, find happiness in where you are and if you still have work to do, focus on that, focus on you.

While you're on your way to the relationship of your dreams, find joy in you and your life now. Accept invitations to go out, talk to people in common places, and put yourself in a position to get to know people. I have lots of ideas and can't wait to dig in! It starts with you, to find a great catch, you've got to be a great catch and I know you are!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Our Grateful Turkey. Everyone had a tail feather for their place setting and were asked to write what they were grateful for. Everyone was grateful for family & friends, but some were appreciative of our military serving over seas, steady work, good health, and football. It's fun to share all we have to be thankful for! What about you, how do you express your gratitude? We do it so many ways, but this year, it was with out Grateful Turkey!

Time With Mason

Mason is growing up so fast. I can remember him toddling, oohing, and drooling. Now he only drools when he sleeps.

Kindergarten is going really well, a far cry from last year. I keep looking at him and seeing all these big boy qualities, like his legs are getting really strong and not so skinny. And he has really intelligent questions and answers. Just when I start to adjust to this little boy who is less little and more boy, he does something really silly like pretend he is Riley (the dog) and wants me to throw a toy for him to fetch. It's in those moments when I realize I can't be so busy that I let these moments pass us by. It won't matter if I miss 30 minutes of trade show preparation, but Mason will remember those 30 minutes I played with him pretending he was my dog.

I know the days of offered kisses, wanting me to fall asleep with him in his bed, and him thinking I know the answers to everything are fleeting. Heck, once the thinking I know everything days are gone, they are gone forever. It's now that I need to listen and value his opinions. I want to share good lessons of manners, values, right & wrong, and kindness while he's still impressionable enough to consider that these things are not only a good way of life, but the only way of life. I have no doubt we will have our challenges while Mason grows up, but I will know that I spent time, stayed plugged in, and truly did my best to be not just a good mom, but a great mom!

Can You Not Worry?

I'm not typically a worrier, but I do find myself in situations where I'm genuinely worried. Most notably, it's been in the areas of personal finance or relationships. Do you worry?

My mom is a worry-wart in the truest sense of the word. It used to drive me crazy that she would worry about EVERYTHING! Now that I'm grown up with all of life's responsibilities, I understand her worry. However, even though I understand it, I find that worry is just more exhausting than either dealing with my issue, or letting it be what it will be. Can you not worry?

One of the things that works for me is distraction. When I'm finding that I'm focusing on something that's uncertain and upsetting, I put my mind to something else, something mindless or enjoyable. In fact, the best distraction for anything that's troubling me is to spend time with Mason. Mason reminds me that I have so much to be grateful for and as long as I have my happy, healthy family, I have all I need. No worries!

Laughter.

When was the last time you laughed? I mean really laughed. The last time I really laughed was last night when Julianne and I were tweeting (yes, I twitter! @Kdpartak), and she told me a story about her family. I could share the story with you but frankly, you won't find it a stitch humorous. Never mind that, my point is that laughter feels so good! Why do we laugh less as we get older? I don't laugh as often as I might like to.

I see Mason laughing everyday. He will have conversations with pretend people and laugh out loud. He plays all the parts as he sees fit and laughs for everyone! He will make up jokes that have nothing to them, they make absolutely no sense, but he will finish with a big belly laugh. I'm thankful for Mason's joy, because he laughs so often, so do I. I don't find his jokes funny at all, but his happiness is contagious.

Find something today to laugh about. Make up a joke and then laugh. It will sound so canned and fake, that in and of itself will make you laugh for real. Try it and let me know!

A Letter To My Husband

Dear Dave,

Have I told you lately how happy you make me? You do. I count my blessings every single day that you love me. I've known for many years that you are an exceptional man, but there are still things you do that surprise me.

You bought me a new outfit to go out for your birthday. I love that you picked out clothes that you thought would make me feel pretty. They did.

You embrace being a dad and when I notice your patience is running short, I can say a simple sentence and you let go a smile. It's so clear that you love your family. Your love of family starts with your parents, especially your mom. You make time to see her, spending time and calling her just to talk.

You volunteer your time in our community and practice random acts of kindness on a regular basis. Whether it's helping someone push their stalled car out of an intersection or searching for a dog on a leash without it's person, you take the time to do the right thing.

There are so many things I can write on and on about. The consideration you express for your coworkers when in social situations, the way you think to arrange play dates for Mason, how you stop along the side of the road to cut wild sweet peas for me, and one of my favorites, the way other people see you look at me. I've been told on numerous occasions that people can see how much you love me.

Today, I want to say that I love you, too. More than I love you, I respect you. It sounds so cliche to say, "I married my best friend." But sometimes, cliche is simply the truth.

With all my love,
Kathy

America Is Alive And Well - By Guest Writer Jay Kliewer

America is alive and well. I was awakened last night from a late nap, approximately 8:00 PM, by a helicopter flying overhead in a large circular pattern and repeatedly saying something. After six passes and with the help of my roommate, I finally made out the message, “There is a 3 year old child missing wearing a green shirt with red and white stripes. He is wearing a diaper and his name is Daniel.”

What I saw as I came out to the front yard and as I walked down my road was the most incredible thing. People had come out of their houses and were walking, running, driving, and I even saw one guy on roller skates looking for Daniel. Moms with young kids, families, teenagers, and single people were all looking for Daniel.

So why were we out there? Honestly . . . I was out there because if I could help those parents look for Daniel then that is what I wanted to do. I know that if that had been a three year old Jhasamin or Jeremiah, I would want other people looking for them. I also think I wanted to partake in something larger. Be a part of something bigger than myself. I didn’t want to sit home when I was needed and there was something I could give. Maybe in a strange way I also wanted to be seen, as if to say, "Look at me, I am helping too."

By 8:40 pm just as abruptly as it started the helicopter made two big circles and said, “Thank you for your help. The child has been found.”

Recently I had an opportunity to take a four man delegation of Nigerian FEMA leaders around to various organizations in the Sacramento and San Francisco areas to show them how Californians respond to disasters. They said their overall problem in Nigeria with regards to disasters is APATHY. What an awesome thought to know that America is not a Country of Apathy. And just like our fore fathers, those many years ago, whom were willing to make a difference with their fellow man to fight for independence, that same spirit still flows through our veins today as we came together to look for a child that no one knew. Daniel’s parents will never know that a 40 year old man got up from his nap and spent a half hour looking for their child.

As Vincent, one of the Nigerian delegates was being dropped off at the San Francisco Airport he told me that people in Nigeria were praying for America. Well Vincent your prayers are being heard and thank you.

God has Blessed the USA with the men, women, and children who live here!

Join Me And Win!

Celebrate the arrival of summer with the Mom Central Summer Giveaway Bonanza! Each week, Mom Central will post new giveaways just for Moms and their families on MomCentral.com. We'll have tons of great prizes throughout the summer for you and all members of your family. Some of our giveaways include:

• Hoover Cyclonic Bagless Upright Vacuum: This new vacuum from Hoover removes more dirt than other cyclonic bagless vacuums due to its patented wind tunnel technology and embedded dirt finder. With power controls on the handle, it reduces bending to get to those hard-to-reach places and easily moves from hard floor to carpet.

• Crayola Play Sand: Transform an ordinary sandbox with a splash of color or design colorful art projects with a 20 lb. bag of Crayola Play Sand. The sand doesn't stain hands and features an easy-to-carry handle to make transporting easy on Moms.

• Jeep Tandem Stroller: Built to accommodate your growing family, the Tandem Traveler Stroller features sun canopies, reclining seat backs, car-seat adaptors, and cup holders that will leave you feeling like the coolest mommy on the block.

• Razor Jr. Electric Wagon: Put a modern spin on the classic wagon with the Razor Jr. Electric Wagon. Traveling safely at 2-3 miles per hour, parents have assistance while cruising the block.

Visit Mom Central, check out all the prizes, register and win! http://www.momcentral.com/

Happily Married

As you all know by now, Dave and I are very happily married. I know several other couples that are also very happy and they express their affection openly and abundantly. I asked Dave if he thought we were happy because we tell each other how we feel, and generally focus on being so.

We agreed that being happy is a choice. There are certainly things about each other that are mildly annoying, but it just seems that those things come along with a really great package, thus making them insignificant.

Here again, is evidence that those things you choose to focus on, grow. We focus on the things about each other that we first loved, learned about later and loved, and still have to find out about and expect to love. What about you? What do you choose to focus on in your marriage? I wish for you love and happiness!

"I'm A Yes Man!" - Guest Writer Amie Chilson

On my 32nd birthday I found myself stuck on the JFK tarmac for two extra hours due to a weather delay, en route to Madrid. After playing the, “It’s my birthday” card with the flight attendants, scoring a few free mini bottles of wine, I sat back and started the solo movie marathon on my way over the Atlantic: it was “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey.

If you haven’t seen it yet…go rent it today! Through its silliness and moments of expected Jim Carey hilarity, the underlying message struck a chord with me. Carey plays a middle-aged, loan officer who leads an unextraordinary life and is accustomed to saying “no” to everything. He’s begun to alienate friends, never moves ahead in his career, and has developed a bad habit of closing himself off to life and all its opportunities. After attending a self-help seminar where attendees make a covenant to say “Yes” to everything…and anything, his life begins to transform in amazing and unexpected ways.

At face value, this flick is a predictably fun, brand of 90-minute, Jim Carey comedy. (And anyone who knows me knows I shy away from the Hollywood drool of endless, formulaic films!) Yet, I chose to watch the film 2.5 times and laughed like an idiot throughout–but why? Because I am “Yes Man” and have recently built my lifestyle around this value system.

2008 was a tough year for me in several ways; I buried two grandmothers, closed both my companies down, and nearly went bankrupt. I retreated into my metaphorical cave and shut down to most of the world. At the end of the year I vowed to make 2009 incredible and milk the most out of every day, while being open to the universe and all it had to offer. I created a “101 Things To Do in 2009” list, naming items as simple as: sampling more international cheeses, indulging in a house cleaner, and reading the Declaration of Independence, to more loftier goals such as visiting Thailand, completing my scuba certification and hiking the Grand Canyon. (The list was easier to develop than I thought…which means subconsciously lurking were all these things I’ve always wanted to experience, learn, and try!) Never again did I want to waste a year, and look back regretfully to say, “Damn, I didn’t do any of the things I wanted to accomplish! Where did the year go? And how utterly unremarkable it was…”

Since I made that covenant with myself at the end of 2008, my life has been purely magical! I recently took my husband on a wonderful month-long vacation to Spain where most of our lodging across the country was free; I’ve been invited to vacation in Fiji , Mexico , and India to study with a renowned Guru. Business opportunities have flooded my gates, I’ve met many new people and made wonderful friends, I find myself in great health and training for one of the hardest Triathlons nationwide, and I live each day with such zest and fascination. Sometimes it feels as if I’ve lived 3 days to the actual 1. As for the 101 List of To Do Items… I’ve been happily knocking them down by the dozens, and even created an ancillary 101 List!

What I’ve learned about myself during this 6-month experiment of saying “Yes to Life” is when I embrace being ‘open’, I expect something good to happen every time and it does. Being authentically ‘open’ also has forced me to become more empathic, less selfish, and more compassionate to others. It’s removed the ability to go through life ‘half-ass’ which is an easy to rut to fall into. We become busy, get comfortable, and even ease into laziness. (I know I did!) The good news is it is simple to pull ourselves out of the “No” coma. It’s as easy as saying “Yes” to little things, like smiling back at a stranger, answering an Unknown Caller ID phone call, or meeting your inbox of Evites with hopefulness vs. impatience.

In the movie, “Yes Man”, Carey changes his life in a matter of weeks and welcomes many new life experiences, people, and opportunities. In addition to falling in love, he gets promoted in his career, reconnects with his friends and inspires many different individuals. His unremarkable life has radically transformed, and he is a happier man for it. Carey also learns there is such a thing as ‘balance’ to strike in life with being constantly open to life and opportunities.

And that balance is important to keep in mind, as agreeing to all things is unreasonable and potentially dangerous. As I find myself mentally and verbally saying, “Yes” to most opportunities that flow my way, I still exercise instinct, fiscal prudence and my own version of life harmony. I will ignore the invite to pierce my nipples, not join a cult, and not invest all my money in what resembles a Ponzi scheme.

What I will do, is wake up tomorrow morning and breathe in the delicious moment of NOW, and energetically say “Yes” to what life has to offer me because I know it will be fantastic! I suggest you try it: who knows, the next “Yes” you say could lead to meeting the person of your dreams, making a new best friend, drop the next incredible business opportunity in your lap, or inspire your biggest idea ever.

Be a “Yes Man” with me.

http://myexistentialmusings.wordpress.com

Much Gratitude,
Amie Chilson

Don't Forget Dad!

Mom Central has their annual Father's Day Gift Guide out and wait until you see what they have! Great gifts under $25, $50, and over $100. There is something here for every budget!

What's especially cool is that you can click on each link and you are right there, shopping in the "Dad" section of the store! All the great things that guys like, are in one place and in your price range. Check it out and get dad something he's gonna really love!

Go to: http://www.momcentral.com/giftguide/fathersday/ Everything you need is right at your fingertips!


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Yesterday Was Really Bad!

Laughing! Maybe I shouldn't have posted about being grateful when life gets tough! Did I attract that? I'm laughing because I finished crying and can now see that it really wasn't all that bad.

I can honestly say that even though I was in the troughs of despair....little melodrama...I was still able to be grateful that it wasn't worse. And even better, I was able to check with a friend who is battling cancer and if that doesn't put a crummy day in perspective, nothing will.

I am so very grateful for all that I have. I even went as far as to putting an e-mail out to my work associates offering my consulting services at a discounted rate to their clients. I really want to help in these tough times, so why not let the world know. This is just another way that I practice gratitude. How do you show your gratitude and put it into action when times get tough?

Can You Be Grateful When Life Is Really Bad?

Times are really tough right now for many of us. I know my family is not exempt from tight finances, things breaking, and difficult life circumstances in general. No matter what happens, I've found a solid space of gratitude.

Yesterday, while cleaning my very old stove top, it blew up. Literally! Fiery sparks, a puff of white smoke, and a pop! I don't have the money to replace it, but I won't take the chance that this is a fire waiting to happen. As soon as this happened, I found myself uttering, "Thank goodness it didn't catch on fire."

Can you practice gratitude when you are at your lowest? I hope so. The reality is, no matter how bad things get, they can always get worse. I learned a long time ago to never, ever challenge the universe with the words, "It can't get worse than this." I believe as long as I'm dressed in my right mind, no matter what circumstances present themselves, I can do something to better my condition. I usually start with acknowledging and accepting where I am. I try to learn if the lesson is obvious and then I look at what I can do, and I start.

That's my way. What's yours? Can you be grateful when life gets really bad?

Do You Dread Monday?

Are you one of those people who hates to see the new week begin? Not me! I love Monday! Not only do I love the opportunities that come with the new work week, but I love the structure of the weekdays.

Even though I don't go into an office, all the people I work with are doing exactly what I'm doing. We may not be in the same room, building, or even the same state, we're all working together; connecting via e-mail and telephone. Mason is in school and Dave is at his office. We all know where we need to be and what we need to be doing, and it feels good.

If you really really feel a deep disdain for the start of a new work week, maybe you need to ask yourself what you could be doing that you would look forward to. Dave doesn't love his work, but he loves his family, and the job he does provides for us. I look forward to the new week because what I'm doing is moving us one step closer to our dreams of working together in all of our philanthropic goals.

Yes, the new week takes the vehicle out of park and gets us back on the road to success. If you'd rather sit in the parking lot, than think about what you're attracting with a heavy sigh and dread of Monday. Is it what you really want your new week to shape up to be? Whatever you think, you're right!

I Set A Mantra This Week

You all know I'm a firm believer in getting back what you put out. This week I have made my mantra, "How can I help you?" I've been learning a lot about social media and spending some time on facebook and twitter (@kdpartak) and I have to say, I've met some really wonderful people.

My intention for investigating this medium was to see how I could promote my gloves, my blogs, and my self as a writer. Here's what's come to me. I've met several really great ladies with whom I've spent many a late evening on the phone. One of these ladies knows the president of a large retailer and she is not only willing, but excited to take him a pair of our ZipperBack Gloves for consideration (www.zipperbackgloves.com). Another of these wonderful women is the neighbor of a large grocery chain and she's planning to take a sample box of twist caps (www.buytwistcaps.com e-mail me to buy!) to introduce me. My new friend Tania added polish and pizazz to my sell sheet to send to above mentioned president. I've also connected with the editor of a military magazine and a mom who writes a successful blog who I may be guest writing for in the near future.

This sounds like there's so much that's come my way, what have I given to receive all this love? I don't think I've given enough if anything at all, but it seems the women I've become friends with will disagree. I've been told that I've inspired, enlightened, and in a few cases, really helped them work through a tough situation. Is that enough? Only the parties involved can answer that, but for me, I want to do more. How can I help you?

What Do You See?

Literally and figuratively, what do you see when you look at your future? Are you looking to your future or are you simply coping with today? Using the power of intention starts with changing the way you see your life right now, this very minute.

You absolutely have to change the way you think about circumstances, pending actions, and your past. It's impossible to attract the life you want to lead if you are still fretting about the past, the way things are now, and all the nonsense you have to deal with tomorrow. I feel heavier just writing the words! You are in charge of what you think. You get to choose to let go of past disappointments, and you can allow yourself to see your life in a whole new light. This change can happen in an instant, literally, a split second.

You're likely asking how you can let go of hurt you feel from a past betrayal, or how you can be excited when you know you haven't paid your property taxes and know you have to answer for that. My answer to you is that all the terrible things that happened in the past are done. It's like continually trying to drink a glass of water that you already finished. Choose to let it go. Answering for your unpaid taxes is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter that you still can't pay. Initiating a conversation is taking responsibility and that will make you feel great. Feeling great changes your physical vibration, and making that single change will send a positive message out, thus attracting a positive energy return.

The more you practice taking action (responsibility), the more you'll find yourself feeling good, and the more you feel good, the more good will come to you. The more you live this cycle, the easier it will be to see a prosperous, happy future. See? Easy!

How Good Are You, Really?

Mason used to love bull riding and bull riders. From the time he was just about two until he was almost five, he has was obsessed pretending to ride bulls, watching Cowboy U over and over, dressing like a cowboy and roping the dog. It would only make sense that when he heard the advertisement for the Professional Bull Riders event coming to Sacramento he would want to go.

Of course we want to take our kids to see and do the things they love, but 2007 brought with it a strict financial plan that did not include a day at the arena watching bull riders. Our local country radio station has a promotion every weekend and appropriately guess what? Tickets to the PBR event, and an entry into a drawing for use of the KNCI box with a party for the winner and 15 of their friends.

I had not won on the radio in quite some time so when I felt that familiar excitement I knew I was going to win those tickets.

The first opportunity to call came and the sound we were listening for was not very easy to hear. This was good news because I think this increased my odds. You see, I have “Supersonic Radio Contest Hearing.” When the sounder played, I called and got a ring right out of the gate, no pun intended. "Caller number 1." Redial, busy, redial, busy, redial, busy, redial, ring! It’s ringing! “Caller 5” the DJ quickly answered and hung up. Oh good, I’m in I think as I hung up and redialed again. I dialed and redialed numerous more times and then the phone rang. “Caller 19” I hear. Not this time I thought as I waited to call again.

I tried to call the next time and I was callers 1, 12, 18 and 23! I needed to be caller 25. At this point I was unsure how many more opportunities I was going to have, so I called the radio station to ask how late they would playing. To y surprize, the DJ answered the phone saying “Hello, you win!” “Win? Win what?” I replied. It was a movie promotion prize pack and I immediately told him I did not want to win that, I wanted to win the bull riding tickets. He was a little taken aback but told me he would have more bull riding tickets in the next 10 minutes.

10 minutes later it was time to call and this time I had to answer a trivia question about Minnie Pearl’s hat. I was the first caller and I answered correctly and won. Mason did a very cute “Yee Haw Cowboy!” on the phone and we discussed that I just conceded the win a few minutes ago. I assured him I intended to be the winner of the grand prize on Monday and he informed me that this was a little sidebar contest, an extra pair of tickets that were not included in the weekend contest and thus did not qualify me for the grand prize. I told him I had to be in the drawing for the grand prize and I needed to pull out of this one, too. He was shocked. He asksed me if he could still play Mason on the radio since he was so cute and of course I said yes. He wished me luck and we hung up.

By now my husband was sitting on the couch in the living room in utter disbelief. He had heard me concede two prizes and had to come downstairs to see what is going on. While we were sitting together discussing all of this, it was time to call again. He started dialing on his cell phone and I was calling from our home phone. The phone was ringing and I won, I was caller number 25. This not only won me two tickets but I was now qualified to be in the drawing to win the grand prize. The DJ was blown away, he said “You really won. You are really caller 25” I know I told him. I let him know that I have an uncanny ability to win when I put my mind to it. “No kidding!” he said.

I won the tickets to take my family to the PBR event the following weekend but despite my best intentioned efforts, I did not win the grand prize for 15 of my friends to join us. No matter, I was elated and Mason got to see the bulls and riders. I love the power of intention and the ability to pull forth the things we desire for the people we love.