When Your Hands Are Tied

I consult with individuals who are facing financial difficulties. Many call me with regard to mortgages that are adjusting or credit card companies who are not working with them. It's heartbreaking when I hear one of my clients tried on numerous occasions to work out a payment plan when they had fallen behind due to their hours at work being cut, only to be told that they now don't make enough money to qualify for a hardship repayment plan! Does that make any sense? After three months of no payments, still making the same lower income, the big bank calls her back to offer her a 0% interest plan and offers to match every payment she makes toward helping her pay down her balance! Why wouldn't they help her when she asked for help instead of forcing her hand to fall 90 days past due on the account? She felt like her hands were tied. She couldn't make the payment, they wouldn't work with her and even if she made a lesser payment, her account would still be reported as delinquent, late fees charged, and credit tarnished.

This is my area of expertise so I know what I would do. With the information you have, what would you do if you felt like your hands were tied when trying to get a credit card company to work with you? Share with me what you think they can do to you if you don't pay. I'll be sure to comment and share with you what I know to be true.

"I'm A Yes Man!" - Guest Writer Amie Chilson

On my 32nd birthday I found myself stuck on the JFK tarmac for two extra hours due to a weather delay, en route to Madrid. After playing the, “It’s my birthday” card with the flight attendants, scoring a few free mini bottles of wine, I sat back and started the solo movie marathon on my way over the Atlantic: it was “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey.

If you haven’t seen it yet…go rent it today! Through its silliness and moments of expected Jim Carey hilarity, the underlying message struck a chord with me. Carey plays a middle-aged, loan officer who leads an unextraordinary life and is accustomed to saying “no” to everything. He’s begun to alienate friends, never moves ahead in his career, and has developed a bad habit of closing himself off to life and all its opportunities. After attending a self-help seminar where attendees make a covenant to say “Yes” to everything…and anything, his life begins to transform in amazing and unexpected ways.

At face value, this flick is a predictably fun, brand of 90-minute, Jim Carey comedy. (And anyone who knows me knows I shy away from the Hollywood drool of endless, formulaic films!) Yet, I chose to watch the film 2.5 times and laughed like an idiot throughout–but why? Because I am “Yes Man” and have recently built my lifestyle around this value system.

2008 was a tough year for me in several ways; I buried two grandmothers, closed both my companies down, and nearly went bankrupt. I retreated into my metaphorical cave and shut down to most of the world. At the end of the year I vowed to make 2009 incredible and milk the most out of every day, while being open to the universe and all it had to offer. I created a “101 Things To Do in 2009” list, naming items as simple as: sampling more international cheeses, indulging in a house cleaner, and reading the Declaration of Independence, to more loftier goals such as visiting Thailand, completing my scuba certification and hiking the Grand Canyon. (The list was easier to develop than I thought…which means subconsciously lurking were all these things I’ve always wanted to experience, learn, and try!) Never again did I want to waste a year, and look back regretfully to say, “Damn, I didn’t do any of the things I wanted to accomplish! Where did the year go? And how utterly unremarkable it was…”

Since I made that covenant with myself at the end of 2008, my life has been purely magical! I recently took my husband on a wonderful month-long vacation to Spain where most of our lodging across the country was free; I’ve been invited to vacation in Fiji , Mexico , and India to study with a renowned Guru. Business opportunities have flooded my gates, I’ve met many new people and made wonderful friends, I find myself in great health and training for one of the hardest Triathlons nationwide, and I live each day with such zest and fascination. Sometimes it feels as if I’ve lived 3 days to the actual 1. As for the 101 List of To Do Items… I’ve been happily knocking them down by the dozens, and even created an ancillary 101 List!

What I’ve learned about myself during this 6-month experiment of saying “Yes to Life” is when I embrace being ‘open’, I expect something good to happen every time and it does. Being authentically ‘open’ also has forced me to become more empathic, less selfish, and more compassionate to others. It’s removed the ability to go through life ‘half-ass’ which is an easy to rut to fall into. We become busy, get comfortable, and even ease into laziness. (I know I did!) The good news is it is simple to pull ourselves out of the “No” coma. It’s as easy as saying “Yes” to little things, like smiling back at a stranger, answering an Unknown Caller ID phone call, or meeting your inbox of Evites with hopefulness vs. impatience.

In the movie, “Yes Man”, Carey changes his life in a matter of weeks and welcomes many new life experiences, people, and opportunities. In addition to falling in love, he gets promoted in his career, reconnects with his friends and inspires many different individuals. His unremarkable life has radically transformed, and he is a happier man for it. Carey also learns there is such a thing as ‘balance’ to strike in life with being constantly open to life and opportunities.

And that balance is important to keep in mind, as agreeing to all things is unreasonable and potentially dangerous. As I find myself mentally and verbally saying, “Yes” to most opportunities that flow my way, I still exercise instinct, fiscal prudence and my own version of life harmony. I will ignore the invite to pierce my nipples, not join a cult, and not invest all my money in what resembles a Ponzi scheme.

What I will do, is wake up tomorrow morning and breathe in the delicious moment of NOW, and energetically say “Yes” to what life has to offer me because I know it will be fantastic! I suggest you try it: who knows, the next “Yes” you say could lead to meeting the person of your dreams, making a new best friend, drop the next incredible business opportunity in your lap, or inspire your biggest idea ever.

Be a “Yes Man” with me.

http://myexistentialmusings.wordpress.com

Much Gratitude,
Amie Chilson

Isn't Time The Best?

Last week was a roller coaster of emotions. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say, I was exhausted by the time the weekend rolled around.

I take comfort knowing that a little bit of time will set my thinking right, take me out of my emotion filled angst, and let me get back to my faith that, everything is as it is suppose to be. I really do believe that, and I've come to be able to recognize what it is I need to learn from a difficult experience in a relatively short period of time. I also trust that as tough as things may get, in the big picture (long time), much of our day-to-day lives is not going to hold much weight in five years.

I won't go as far as to say that I believe time heals all wounds, but it sure provides a nice cushion from the pain, and reminds us that a new day is just that, new. Let go of the old and create today. You get to choose your thoughts, and your thoughts create your actions. Go, choose wisely and make today great!

Yesterday Was Really Bad!

Laughing! Maybe I shouldn't have posted about being grateful when life gets tough! Did I attract that? I'm laughing because I finished crying and can now see that it really wasn't all that bad.

I can honestly say that even though I was in the troughs of despair....little melodrama...I was still able to be grateful that it wasn't worse. And even better, I was able to check with a friend who is battling cancer and if that doesn't put a crummy day in perspective, nothing will.

I am so very grateful for all that I have. I even went as far as to putting an e-mail out to my work associates offering my consulting services at a discounted rate to their clients. I really want to help in these tough times, so why not let the world know. This is just another way that I practice gratitude. How do you show your gratitude and put it into action when times get tough?

Can You Be Grateful When Life Is Really Bad?

Times are really tough right now for many of us. I know my family is not exempt from tight finances, things breaking, and difficult life circumstances in general. No matter what happens, I've found a solid space of gratitude.

Yesterday, while cleaning my very old stove top, it blew up. Literally! Fiery sparks, a puff of white smoke, and a pop! I don't have the money to replace it, but I won't take the chance that this is a fire waiting to happen. As soon as this happened, I found myself uttering, "Thank goodness it didn't catch on fire."

Can you practice gratitude when you are at your lowest? I hope so. The reality is, no matter how bad things get, they can always get worse. I learned a long time ago to never, ever challenge the universe with the words, "It can't get worse than this." I believe as long as I'm dressed in my right mind, no matter what circumstances present themselves, I can do something to better my condition. I usually start with acknowledging and accepting where I am. I try to learn if the lesson is obvious and then I look at what I can do, and I start.

That's my way. What's yours? Can you be grateful when life gets really bad?

For All Your Best Intentions

Have you ever worked really hard to make something happen only to find, it didn't go at all the way you planned? I have!

When this kind of thing has happened to me, It's made me really mad! I looked around and thought, what the heck? It's not until later that I realized that the way things turned out was exactly what I needed. Not necessarily what I'd envisioned or planned, but the best possible outcome.

If you can accept that you can only control so much, you can then see that every "not so great" turnout usually holds the door open for something far better. Next time you can't figure out how you landed where you are, turn around and look for the opportunity that is likely smiling a great big "WELCOME" your way!

I Just Gotta Say!

We all have those days that suck! There's no other way to say it, it sucks. So what do you do? Pout? Cry? Slam stuff around? No, you take a deep breath, look at it for what it really is, and find something that doesn't suck!

If you really think life has just given you lemons, pour a shot of tequila and call it a day! And for the record, lemons work with tequila just as nicely as limes do! When was the last time life dealt you limes? Laughing.