What Does Success Look Like?

RiverLights Originals

When I look around and see the amazing people I have surrounded myself with every day, I see how good they have it. Sure, we all have problems, but for the most part, my circle of friends is happy and successful. They are working, playing, traveling, basically living a pretty good life.

As I look toward the new year, I always reflect back on where I was and how far I've come. Sometimes it seems like I didn't make nearly the amount of progress I was hoping for, but I keep setting goals and working hard.

It's about that time I am feeling a bit like I was destined to be a "Have Not" when someone says to me, "You really inspire me! I love the way you are not afraid to get in the game and try. I wish I could be more like you." WOW! I hear that and I ask, "Did I inspire you to the point that you did get in the game? Did you do something you would not have had you not seen me step up?" I usually get a resounding "Yes!"

Some examples are when I posted photos of my hikes and how I am taking action to get fit. I ran into an acquaintance at the grocery store and she had clearly lost a significant amount of weight. I commented and she replied, "You inspired me. You posted every day and each time I thought, why am I not doing it too?" Another time my friend had applied for a job that was something she wanted to do but had not yet had the experience on her resume. She was nervous when she got the interview because she felt like she didn't have talking points applicable to the new company. She went into the interview and told me that she channeled me and the way I can plug in life experiences to make an example of something. She spoke about examples in life and other jobs that she was able to make metaphors for the new job and show the interviewer that she has the skills - the people skills, the admin skills, the life skills that have nothing to do with the specific industry. Her excellent skills are applicable in many places and she remembered me advising her to ask for the position. She did and she is now excited to go to work every day.

With stories like this, how can I feel like I am not getting anywhere in this life? That is success on a grand scale! It makes me feel amazing and each time I feel like I am trying to run in quicksand, I will come back to this post and remember, these are just two people I've inspired to get ahead in their lives. What about you, do you feel successful? If you do, how do you gauge success?

What is Time?

What is time? Time is a measure in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future, and also the measure of durations of events and the intervals between them. Time is often referred to as the fourth dimension, along with the three spatial dimensions. What?! Laughing!

Time is the 24 hours we have each day and the seven days each week, that make up the 365 days we all have each year. Time is so relative, think about it, remember that day you had big plans after work and it seemed like the minutes were hours while you were at work? And then the way the minutes flew by once you were at your event with your friends? It;s how you think about it and how you live in it that makes it what it is for you. Time is just time, it is neither fast nor slow, it is the same for all of us. Do you have time? Can you make time? What time is it? Where did the time go?

When I think of time, I think of where I am and where I want to be. I've heard it said again and again, "It will take so long." Or, "By the time I get my degree, I will be too old to do anything with it." Nonsense! The fact of the matter is, the clock is always ticking, the next 60 seconds, 60 minutes, 60 hours, and 60 days are going to pass at the same rate they did last year and where will you be? You can start today toward where it is you want to go and when those 60 days pass, you will be closer to that goal. 

This is what I know about time; I know that I'm grateful for every day that I am still here with my family and friends. I know that the time I've spent living my ordinary life are some of my most treasured memories. I know that it does not take a long time to make a shift in my universe, no matter how small or how large, how I think about something in an instant can set things in motion whether I realize it or not. Time is why I write. I want my time to be documented for Mason and his family, I want them to know who we are and all the amazing things we did. For as time goes on, it is not kind to our minds, and these memories will change, and fade and eventually cease to exist. Time is precious, it is the most valuable gift you can give and it's important to give the gift to yourself sometimes. Don't you think it's about time?

What Is Intentional Winning In Life?

Intentional Winning In Life - IWIL is the process of bringing your dreams to life right now by thinking about them differently.

So many of us had dreams when we were younger that for this reason or that, we let go of pursuing. Even as adults, things come up that seem exciting or worthwhile, but we believe we aren't qualified, don't have time to learn, don't have the money, or simply don't feel we can reach the goal. Whatever you think, you're right! So if you don't think you can do it, maybe you could think about it in a way that does seem doable to you. Just maybe, there is another way to bring that dream into reality.

Here's an example (reference the photo above): Let's say your dream is to go from San Francisco, CA to New York, NY. Most would agree that the fastest, most direct route would be to travel eastbound on highway 80 in one strait shot - the pink road. You'll see a little piece of green on the pink route which is a planned detour where there's a break in highway 80. As we do this, plug in life goals and normal activities that come along the way such as going away to college, getting married, having kids, changing jobs, etc. If you think about each of the events in your life that stop your progress to your dream destination, it's easy to see how we get stalled and eventually "settle down" in Anytown USA along the way. If you look closely at a United States map, you will see that there are hundreds of other roads to get you to New York from San Francisco - the orange roads. Will it take longer? Yes. Will it cost more? Possibly. Will the journey be full of surprises? Absolutely! When you realize that all those other roads can get you where you want to go, you can see that not only can you make your dream come true, but you may also find other things that make you happy and bring you joy along the way.

I'm going to define IWIL a whole lot more as we continue through this year. I'm also going to show you many things you can do to restart the engine on your dream and start feeling it's joy this very minute! Let's get this show on the road and start discovering what the orange roads have to offer.

Life and Dreams

What is the truth about making your dreams come true? Dave has struggled much of his adult life feeling like he is not in a position to pursue his dreams. I have argued with him that if he thinks about his dream differently, he could start the process that moves him closer to his dream life. Through a series of unfortunate events I find myself wondering if maybe he's right, maybe if you make one choice in life, the door closes on the other (your dream).

The optimist in me says, No! I can live this life with my family and live my dream, too. Circumstances dictate something else. I then go to optimistic thought number two, What if I seek a slightly different version of my dream? Maybe, but can you feel like your dream is truly being fulfilled if it's not really your dream? I would argue yes, but one would have to want to make the change. Or maybe a better way to say that is one would have to love the life they are living more than they love the idea of their original dream coming to fruition - and fully recognize that.

“There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means - either may do - the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier.” - Benjamin Franklin

I completely believe that changing the way we see our dreams is not only possible but a wonderful option! Life offers such a bounty of possibilities that to limit ourselves to just a few would be a shame. For each of us to truly indulge in the unlimited possibilities available to us, we will have to pick and choose - after all, there are just 24 hours in one day. Be creative in your choosing and be open to ideas that may not be exactly your first choice. You might be pleasantly surprised!

Write a Business Plan

Don't be scared! I know writing a business plan can be a daunting task, I've done it. What is most important is that you see it as a tool for you. It truly is a road map to success for your business. You will need a business plan if you intend to seek financing for your business. Every bank and investor will require that you submit a business plan (and not just a page or two with you idea on it) when you apply for a loan. From the Small Business Association (SBA) website, here are the essential elements of a good business plan:

A business plan should be a work in progress. That's because your business will evolve over time, and be influenced by outside factors such as the economy and local conditions. Even successful business owners should maintain a current business plan to ensure they remain knowledgeable on the elements that can affect continued success.

•Business Plan Executive Summary
The executive summary is Part 1 of the business plan and is the most important section of your plan. It provides a concise overview of the entire plan, along with a history of your company.

•Market Analysis
The market analysis section is Part 2 of the business plan. This section should illustrate your knowledge about the particular industry your business is in. It should also present general highlights and conclusions of any market.
•Company Description
The company description is Part 3 of the business plan. Without going into detail, this section should include a high level look at how all of the different elements of your business fit together.
•Organization & Management
Organization and Management is Part 4 of the business plan. This section should include: your company's organizational structure, details about the ownership of your company, profiles of your management team, etc.
•Marketing & Sales Management
Marketing and Sales Strategies is Part 5 of your business plan. Marketing is the process of creating customers, and customers are the lifeblood of your business.
•Service or Product Line
Service or Product Line is Part 6 of your business plan. What are you selling? In this section, describe your service or product, emphasizing the benefits to potential and current customers.
•Funding Request
The Funding Request is Part 7 of your business plan. In this section, you will request the amount of funding you will need to start or expand your business. If necessary, you can include different funding scenarios.
•Financials
Financials is Part 8 of your business plan. The financials should be developed after you've analyzed the market and set clear objectives. That's when you can allocate resources efficiently.
•Appendix
The Appendix is Part 9 of your business plan. This section should be provided to readers on an as-needed basis. In other words, it should not be included with the main body of your business plan. Your plan is your communication tool.

For the complete list and descriptions, visit the SBA website here.

I Want to Start a Business

Well, this is a wide open subject. The statement "I want to start a business" leads to the obvious question, what kind of business? Believe it or not, I've had conversations with people who have no idea what kind of business they want to be in, they just know that they want to be their own boss and control their own destiny. Though I admire the entrepreneurial spirit that drive this dream, I know what the real story of business ownership is.

You certainly need to know what kind of business you want to own/operate, there is a foundation to lay and things you can do that will be a strong base for any business. Let's jump in and look at Business Basics 101.

What Is Intentional Winning In Life?

Because I know we have new friends joining us here in the Dream Machine, I periodically repost the explanation of Intentional Winning in Life. Read on and join us on Facebook, too! I have big plans for IWIL and would love nothing more than for you to have been with me since the beginning!


Intentional Winning In Life - IWIL is the process of bringing your dreams to life right now by thinking about them differently.

So many of us had dreams when we were younger that for this reason or that, we let go of pursuing. Even as adults, things come up that seem exciting or worthwhile, but we believe we aren't qualified, don't have time to learn, don't have the money, or simply don't feel we can reach the goal. Whatever you think, you're right! So if you don't think you can do it, maybe you could think about it in a way that does seem doable to you. Just maybe, there is another way to bring that dream into reality.

Here's an example (reference the photo above): Let's say your dream is to go from San Francisco, CA to New York, NY. Most would agree that the fastest, most direct route would be to travel eastbound on highway 80 in one strait shot - the pink road. You'll see a little piece of green on the pink route which is a planned detour where there's a break in highway 80. As we do this, plug in life goals and normal activities that come along the way such as going away to college, getting married, having kids, changing jobs, etc. If you think about each of the events in your life that stop your progress to your dream destination, it's easy to see how we get stalled and eventually "settle down" in Anytown USA along the way. If you look closely at a United States map, you will see that there are hundreds of other roads to get you to New York from San Francisco - the orange roads. Will it take longer? Yes. Will it cost more? Possibly. Will the journey be full of surprises? Absolutely! When you realize that all those other roads can get you where you want to go, you can see that not only can you make your dream come true, but you may also find other things that make you happy and bring you joy along the way.

I'm going to define IWIL a whole lot more as we continue through this year. I'm also going to show you many things you can do to restart the engine on your dream and start feeling it's joy this very minute! Let's get this show on the road and start discovering what the orange roads have to offer.

I Want to be a Baker

This Dream Not Come True has come across my e-mail several times and I've hesitated to address it. Why? Because I bake and it seems so simple to me to make this one come true. Shame on me! Just because something is easy for me doesn't make is so for the next guy.


I'm picking September to travel Orange Roads to making your dreams of baking or being a Baker or Pastry Chef come true because I do think it's easier than you might realize and it's a good time to prep you for the upcoming holiday season. What better time to try some fun cookies and cake recipes? Oh, and I have some Intentional Winning to mix in for a little added entertainment!

This is going to be lots of fun so let's get baking!

Orange Road: Be A Regular!

Wherever it is, be a regular! It can be at a gym, a restaurant, a local coffee house or a book store where you linger a little while to read. People who get to know the staff and other regulars at a favorite place make new friends. I know it sounds silly, but think about Cheers and other sitcoms that make this point beautifully.

We've spent the whole month looking at ways you can meet new people and possibly fall in love. To wrap this up, I'm going to go back to my original post that it starts with you! You have to feel good about yourself and where you are in your life to attract those same qualities in a partner, lover, husband/wife, and even just new friends. Welcome to July and a new Dream Not Come True!

Orange Road: Volunteer At Summer Camp

I like this idea but I know it's not for every one. Summer camps are not only fun for the young people who get to go, they can be a great place to take a vacation as an adult. Okay, this won't be the vacation where you get to lay around and read for a week, but if you like to keep busy, teach, and play, this just might be your golden ticket!

Not only do summer camps offer you the opportunity to make a difference in a young person's life (that's pretty cool all by itself!), but it also positions you to meet new people and spend a week or two getting to know them. I went to a couple of summer camps as a pre-teen and the adults that were there were wonderful role models even if only in my life for a week or two.

Think about this for next summer. Look up summer camps in your area and find out what you need to do to be a camp counselor, or even just play a supporting role in the kitchen or administrative capacity. There are sleep-away summer camps in addition to day and weekend camps on a smaller scale. You can find camps with a religious focus along with many other specific topics. If you love young people, this is a great way to give back and possibly meet someone who wants to make a difference like you do!

Opportunity Knocks!

Whether you realize it or not, you have opportunities to connect with people every day. You also may be overlooking the love of your life. My thoughts, from an Intentional Winning perspective, are that if you are tuned into who you want to be with, you will not only attract that person to you, but you will have people who fit that bill around you often. When you pay attention and purposefully put your best foot forward, you will see who is emanating that same energy.


Make the most of your opportunities no matter what comes up. If you are introduced to someone by a mutual friend or find yourself in a friendly chat in the line at the grocery store, get present and tune into what's happening. Don't be afraid to ask someone new if they want to grab a coffee or talk again soon. If you're told no, smile and move on. I bet if you're being your happy self, the answers will be yes more than they will be no. Ultimately, it's not a matter of if this person is the love of your life, what matters is that you have fun discovering who they are. Oh, and keep in mind, this person may not be the one, but it's quite possible you will meet more new people through this date, even if it's just one!

It Starts With You!

Let me start this topic by saying I'm not a expert and I certainly don't have all the answers. I am sharing with you what I know and what I believe are good ways to position yourself to meet a great guy or gal. My only qualifications are that I spent years in my 20s and 30s going on fun, crazy, bad, and hilarious dates and I've been happily (extremely I might add!) married for ten years. With that said, I believe finding a great catch starts with being a great catch.

For you to be a great catch, you've got to be happy with yourself and where you are in your life. This doesn't mean that you have to be exactly where you want to be, but it does mean that you need to be happy with where you are on your journey. When you are happy, you are able to be in the moment wherever you are, being in a place of light and joy. If you can step back from your frustration of being the "single one" and embrace that you are with friends having a good time, you will be more apt to find yourself meeting new people. When I was single, I got to the point that I was happy where I was, really enjoying my time no matter what I was doing, but I still wasn't open to all possibilities, I was sizing guys up based on what they looked like, what they did for a living, and so on - more on this in my next post. For today, find happiness in where you are and if you still have work to do, focus on that, focus on you.

While you're on your way to the relationship of your dreams, find joy in you and your life now. Accept invitations to go out, talk to people in common places, and put yourself in a position to get to know people. I have lots of ideas and can't wait to dig in! It starts with you, to find a great catch, you've got to be a great catch and I know you are!

Make It A Vacation.

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, I have friends who sail and part of living their love for the sport is to vacation on a sail boat.

I did some on line research and one of the websites I found easy to navigate and was chock full of information is SailingVacations.com. There is a place on the site for people wanting to learn to sail -- you! The only thing about this site I didn't like was I couldn't find actual prices, even on the page that says "Pricing."


If this is something you would like more information on, I would be happy to get the information from my friends regarding how they arrange their sailing vacations (yes, some of my friends have done this more than once!).

If I were interested in integrating sailing into my life, I would take this kind of vacation. It would serve multiple purposes; I would be having a great time, I would be finding out what it is really like to live on a sail boat, and I would have the chance to find out about other professional opportunities. I call this Orange Road a win-win-win situation!

Orange Road Number Fun!

Learn to tie nautical knots! If you have an interest in sailing then this will be something fun to learn. What are the different knots and what are they used for?

The Bowline makes a reasonably secure loop in the end of a piece of rope. It has many uses, e.g., to fasten a mooring line to a ring or a post. Under load, it does not slip or bind. With no load it can be untied easily. Two bowlines can be linked together to join two ropes. Its principal shortcoming is that it cannot be tied, or untied, when there is a load on the standing end. It should therefore be avoided when, for example, a mooring line may have to be released under load.






The Anchor Hitch, or Bend is also known as the Fisherman's Hitch, or Bend. It is an excellent knot to use for attaching an anchor line to an anchor. Logically, as a knot to attach rope to an object, it should always be called a hitch. However, the name Bend derives from a time when when it covered "tied to" and was not restricted to joining two ropes.

You can find many knots and animated how-tos at Animated Knots by Grog.

Welcome to May!

This month we are going to look at Orange Roads for the dream of Sailing. I have many friends who love to sail and several who would like to make their living on a sail boat. I've done some homework on this one and I beleive, one way or another, we can put you on course to be sailing off into many beautiful sunsets!

Just what is Intentional Winning all about? It's about making your dreams come true by taking the paths in life you had not considered. Some might call it getting there in a round about fashion, but I call it taking lifes Orange Roads.

So many of us had dreams when we were younger that for this reason or that, we let go of pursuing. Even as adults, things come up that seem exciting or worthwhile, but we believe we aren't qualified, don't have time to learn, don't have the money, or simply don't feel we can reach the goal. Whatever you think, you're right! So if you don't think you can do it, maybe you could think about it in a way that does seem doable to you. Just maybe, there is another way to bring that dream into reality.

Here's an example: Let's say your dream is to go from San Francisco, CA to New York, NY. Most would agree that the fastest, most direct route would be to travel eastbound on highway 80 in one strait shot - the pink road. You'll see a little piece of green on the pink route which is a planned detour where there's a break in highway 80. As we do this, plug in life goals and normal activities that come along the way such as going away to college, getting married, having kids, changing jobs, etc. If you think about each of the events in your life that stop your progress to your dream destination, it's easy to see how we get stalled and eventually "settle down" in Anytown USA along the way. If you look closely at a United States map, you will see that there are hundreds of other roads to get you to New York from San Francisco - the orange roads. Will it take longer? Yes. Will it cost more? Possibly. Will the journey be full of surprises? Absolutely! When you realize that all those other roads can get you where you want to go, you can see that not only can you make your dream come true, but you may also find other things that make you happy and bring you joy along the way.

As you can see, we are defining IWIL each month. Do you have a Dream Not Come true? Share it with me and let me show you some of the Orange Roads you can take to restart the engine on your dreams and start feeling their joy this very minute!

Say Hello To Debbie!

Debbie is a dear friend of mine who longs to take pictures for a living. Just like many of you, she works full time, has a big family, and juggles all life things that keep us from doing what we really want to be doing.

Debbie started taking pictures of people and things she thinks are beautiful; family, flowers, and local events. One event she attended she took a picture that she entered in the photography contest at our local Gold Country Fair and she won! Isn't that cool?! I'm trying to get a copy of the winning shot, if I do, I'll post it.

Debbie would love nothing more than to make her living taking pictures, but for now, it is her hobby. Some days she takes lots of photos and when life gets busy, her camera stays packed in her bag. The bottom line is that Debbie is making it happen, more slowly than she might like, but the dream is alive and isn't that the real goal? Yes! Do something, a little bit is better than none and will often lead to more!

Tune in next month for a new Dream and we will discover many new Orange Roads to making it come true! Happy Friday!

Grammar And Punctuation Count!

No matter if you want to publish yourself with a blog just for family or dream of one day being a New York Times best selling author, you have to know how to write. It's not simply knowing how to spell and put sentences together, you need to understand punctuation and grammar, current writing styles, and by all means, have someone edit your work.

Not all of you may know what I mean by current writing styles. An example of this would be for those of us who learned to type on a type writer. We were taught to put two spaces after a period to start the new sentence. This was because on a type writer all letter spacing was the same regardless of if you were typing an "i" or an "M." With word processing this two spaces at the end of a sentence isn't necessary. There are several style resources but in the United States, most most non-journalism writing follows The Chicago Manual of Style. C By all means, research this for yourself as it is certain that you will at some point reference a Style Guide if you want to be an Author.

Writing is a skill and a talent. Anyone with a basic education can write, but that doesn't mean they can write well. The best way to learn to write well is to read and write a lot -- a whole lot! Have someone who writes well edit your work and if you don't have someone in your life who can do a good job, pay for editing services. Getting your paper back with corrections is a great way to improve your skill.

Writing is like any other profession, you must have the tools to do the job and in this case, it's a strong understanding of the language you are writing in. Add your style and tell your story, there are many Orange Roads to travel as a writer or Author!

What Do You Think So Far?

My goal when I talk to someone about their Dream-Not-Come-True is to give them at least two ways they can bring their dream back to life right this very minute. To show them two Orange Roads that can be traveled immediately, from my perspective, is to give them hope that their dream coming true is not only still possible, but even probable!

In Dave's case it was easy to come up with more than two options and I think of more every day. I must confess, this one was a little easier for me because I love Dave and I've been working on helping him make his dream come true for many years.

What do you think so far? I'm loving this journey and I can't wait to learn and share about all the other Dreams-Not-Come-True this year. Share yours with me and your thoughts on the others! Come on, let's all get excited and think about what a great place this world will be when we are all living our dreams. It is possible, it truly is!

Gettysburg Recap

Whether or not Dave intends to travel some of the Orange Roads or simply wait it out (his worst case scenario), he will live out his life as Park Ranger in Gettysburg National Park. It's a funny thing with married couples, I feel strongly that Dave won't have to wait a full ten years, and he is sure he will -- typical, huh? I'll be sure to keep you up to date as this changes.

Did this month make it more clear that there are many ways for you to bring your dreams back to life? I hope so. If not, stay with me and next month we'll go on another Intentional Winning In Life journey. The new subject will be revealed next Wednesday.

Share the IWIL blog with your family and friends. We have lots of fun to come and even if it's not real "fun," it's surely inspiring!

Gettysburg Orange Road #4

Dave at a reenactment in 1991 - Napa, CA

Join or start a local reenactors group. I post this as an Orange Road even though I know it's obvious and happens to be exactly where Dave started.

Dave started the Northern California District of the Civil War Association when he was just 17 years old. It was through reenacting that he lived his Gettysburg dreams even traveling back to just outside the park for reenactments (just one more thing I learned do this topic, you can't reenact in a National Park. You can nearby, but not in.).

I suspect if you have a dream similar to Dave's, there are many groups you can join whether they are Civil War Round Tables, classes, groups, or associations who reenact all around your state.