Month of Love Day 26 - My Granny

Day 26 in my Month of Love goes to my Granny. My Granny was a hoot, but before I could know that, I had to do some growing up and get out of my own way. My mom was very close to her parents, they lived walking distance from us in Vacaville where I grew up. My Granny took care of my Grandpop who had a severe stroke when I was really little. My Granny also worked so my mom would take me with her to their house where my mom would take care of my Grandpop while my Granny worked. She was a secretary for a Colonel at Travis Air Force Base until he retired when she turned a spare room in her house into an office and started Zee’s Secretarial Service. She was quite a phenomenal woman, not only was she a female business owner, she spoke seven languages fluently, and could type 130+ wpm error free. I don't know which of those is more impressive. She loved her tea with milk in it, entertaining, and I never knew her to bake anything without alcohol in it. Seriously, she would bake cakes days before an event and soak them with rum, brandy, or whiskey meticulously so they would not be soggy, but loaded with the flavor of the booze. Us kids ate it because the sweetness of the cake offset the flavor of the booze. She had an amazing sense of humor and she spoke her mind without apology.

I wasn’t close to my Granny when I was little because, like most families, relationships are complicated. There are often favorites and sometimes it feels that way even when it’s not necessarily how others see it. When I turned 20 I wanted to know my granny. I made a point to go spend at least a day with her each month, and sometimes the whole weekend. During one of our visits, she asked me to curl her hair. She was sitting on the toilet seat and we were chatting when she made mention of how I didn’t come to see her when I was growing up and lived in Vacaville with her. She was very matter-of-fact in case you ever wonder where I get it, so I told her how I saw it. I told her it was no fun to come over and hear that my hair wasn’t combed the way she thought it should be, or that I was dressed like a boy wearing blue jeans and spent my time riding horses, that the overall feeling was that she didn’t really like me. She turned to me looking me in the eyes and said, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I love you so very much and I am glad you are here. Thank you for coming and curling my hair.” I loved that she said she was sorry, she didn’t try to explain, or justify my perception of that time, she simply said she was sorry. From that point forward we were very close talking about everything from how she wanted to live her final days, how she wanted to die, what it was like to be old, and what she wanted for me - to be married, to have someone take care of me, and to be settled. She used to tell me that she would always be with me and I would always remind her to please not appear to me as a ghost, it would scare the heck out of me. She would say, “What if I have something I need to tell you?” to which I would reply, “Leave me a note, I’ll believe you were there.” and we would laugh.

She passed away just days after Dave and I married publicly, but I did tell her that we were legally and secretly married before that day and she told me, “I’m sorry I can’t come to your wedding, but I am so happy Dave will take care of you.” My only twinge of regret in my life is that she never knew Mason. Oh how she would have loved him, I can see them laughing together in my mind as if it is real. I guess we sometimes make our memories like we create our realities, the way we wanted them to be versus how they may have actually played out. My Granny was an amazing woman and if someone who knew her were to think of me as even a little bit like her, I will have grown into a woman of some real character and substance. Happy #MonthOfLove Granny, with such sincere love. Kahty