Day 21 Month of Love post goes to a group, a group of people who I loved who at some point decided they didn't love me anymore. It may seem counterintuitive, when in fact it makes complete sense.
I've had a number of relationships in my life that I was completely sure would never dissolve, but they did. What happened? A reason, a season, or a lifetime. That phrase came into my life in my 30s and it explained things precisely. Many, many people will come into our lives for a reason, from a team at school or work, to someone who holds a door open for us, people will have a reason to come into our lives. In most of those situations, they will leave just as quickly. There will be fewer people who come into our lives for a season, and that time frame could be teachers for 4 years, co-workers for a number of years, and even friends during specific phases of our lives. It seems somewhat logical that people who are close friends in their teens and twenties may go different directions in life after one marries or moves away to work after graduating from college. Friends for a lifetime, now that is a gift beyond measure. To have friends that are in your life for a lifetime, well there are not very many of those people for most of us to claim.
Why do the seasonal people leave? The easy answers are life changes happen, we grow in different directions, or new people come into our lives that create differences for us and some of our friends. People are complex to be sure, but what about when your best friend calls you to simply say, "We won't be friends anymore past this day." What the heck?! Why? For me, when this happened the answer was, "Just because, I have things I need to do and I can't do it while being friends with you." In the case of this person, he also unfriended our whole group of friends, yes, in real life, he unfriended us. In another case it was a little more clear, one of my best girlfriends broke up with me due to a third-party in her ear telling her who-knows-what about me. I do know what was said, but it doesn't matter. Seasonal people do not leave because of you, they leave because of them... they leave because they know they have not been honest or ethical in their dealings with you and it becomes harder and harder to face you as you show up being true, they finally just have to leave.
I'm so lucky because I have more seasonal and lifetime people with me than most. I'm celebrating Mike B., Elli K., Mike G, and a few more people who have left me, because it reminds me to not take things personally (although I did, I took it deeply personally, my heart was broken), and to recognize that we cannot control other people, we can only control who we are, how we behave, and how we respond and recover when we are hurt. So in this month of love, I'm grateful that I've been given the opportunities to learn, to understand, to grow, to love, and to teach Mason these life lessons. I'm a better person for the difficulties I've worked through. #MonthOfLove
No comments:
Post a Comment