What Is Intentional Winning In Life?

Intentional Winning In Life - IWIL is the process of bringing your dreams to life right now by thinking about them differently.

So many of us had dreams when we were younger that for this reason or that, we let go of pursuing. Even as adults, things come up that seem exciting or worthwhile, but we believe we aren't qualified, don't have time to learn, don't have the money, or simply don't feel we can reach the goal. Whatever you think, you're right! So if you don't think you can do it, maybe you could think about it in a way that does seem doable to you. Just maybe, there is another way to bring that dream into reality.

Here's an example (reference the photo above): Let's say your dream is to go from San Francisco, CA to New York, NY. Most would agree that the fastest, most direct route would be to travel eastbound on highway 80 in one strait shot - the pink road. You'll see a little piece of green on the pink route which is a planned detour where there's a break in highway 80. As we do this, plug in life goals and normal activities that come along the way such as going away to college, getting married, having kids, changing jobs, etc. If you think about each of the events in your life that stop your progress to your dream destination, it's easy to see how we get stalled and eventually "settle down" in Anytown USA along the way. If you look closely at a United States map, you will see that there are hundreds of other roads to get you to New York from San Francisco - the orange roads. Will it take longer? Yes. Will it cost more? Possibly. Will the journey be full of surprises? Absolutely! When you realize that all those other roads can get you where you want to go, you can see that not only can you make your dream come true, but you may also find other things that make you happy and bring you joy along the way.

I'm going to define IWIL a whole lot more as we continue through this year. I'm also going to show you many things you can do to restart the engine on your dream and start feeling it's joy this very minute! Let's get this show on the road and start discovering what the orange roads have to offer.

After a Hiatus

It's been two years since I've posted here, two years! It even amazes me that it's been that long, but looking back it's all very clear. It was two years ago that I quit pursuing ZipperBack Gloves, a product I sincerely believed in and started plugging back in to my family again. In the last two years so much has happened, my son Mason has become a performing kid cook, we've been on several vacations, I graduated (with honors!) from college with a communications degree, I jumped into a real estate career and we moved again. This is certainly not everything, but it illustrates me living my real, physical life, versus the virtual life so many writers fall into when they are writing all the time. I don't know how often I will be here, but Intentional Winning is such a true part of who I am, I will always come back!

So Which Is It?

This has been an interesting few weeks with the now decided presidential election and the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy. Politics certainly bring out the worst in people but look what Superstorm Sandy brought out...complete love.

This had me shaking my head as I read posts on Facebook about how same-sex couples should not be able to marry because it is not "natural," arguments about how pregnancies conceived from a heinous act such as rape is a "gift from God," and even more from both sides about how our country will fall to pieces if the other side wins the presidential election. Here is where, for me, the truth is; as Superstorm Sandy devastated the east coast, people rushed to help other people. I did not see or hear about one report of a rescue that included a conversation about, "Are you gay? Because if you are, I don't believe that is natural and I don't want to help you." Can you imagine a world where a Soldier suggests that s/he will only help someone in distress if they vote the same party line? How about, "Hey you, are you voting yes on 37? If so, grab the rope!"

This may seem like an extreme and silly example, but think about it, it could be argued that the victims of Katrina were not rescued soon enough because of their socioeconomic status. The fact of the matter is, we are all people who want the same things; we want our kids to flourish with the best educations, we want our elderly to be warm and fed, we want our national defense to be strong and in place, and we want Americans to have jobs, homes, and secure lives. Ask yourself this, if you won't qualify another person's personal/political beliefs in a moment of crisis, than why can't it be okay to let them be who they are otherwise? If you don't like the direction this country is going, get involved and work within the system to make a change, if you don't like the system, work to change that. So many talking heads want to natter and complain about the current state of affairs, but they do not want to take action to make it better.

Be the change you want to see and with that, see the good in people and more of your good will shine through!

Photo: RiverLights Originals

Do Winners Quit?

"Winners never quit and quitters never win!" I've heard it a million times - I simply do not agree. 

I am working diligently to make positive things happen for me and my family and it seems that my intention and tenacity are beginning to pay off. It is not lost on me that this turn for the positive came shortly after I let go of other projects that were time, labor and money intensive - all with little progress. Yes, I quit.

I quit pouring money into a business idea that was not making money. When Dave and I started this business in 2008, we intended to see wild success. We spent more than $60,000 and didn't make anything close to that amount in return. It simply is not good business to continue to spending, spending, spending with no return.

Those of you who know me personally know that I am an optimist. I can recite all the motivational quips and quotes that assure us that if we just hang on a little longer, success will break through! I know how many of the mega-successful entrepreneurs filed, in some cases, multiple bankruptcies before finding that formula for success, and on and on and on the hype goes. I want to know the stories of those same Disneys and Trumps recognizing that a plan is not going to come to fruition and pulling the plug. Oprah did it with OWN when she let go of 130 people, it was a step back to move the big picture forward. In my case, the step back was closing the business and putting our resources to work for our future, our new dreams, and who-knows-what-else might be on the horizon for us. I feel it's important to note that what might be around the corner might have been missed while my nose was to the grindstone of the business that was not producing any thing even remotely close to success.

With all this said, I do not believe winners never quit, I feel strongly that winners do good business and that is knowing when to hold 'em and yes, when to fold 'em. I'm a winner and I quit!

There is Progress!

Finally, I feel like something constructive is happening. Selling a house can be emotional to be sure, but when it comes with financial difficulties and is not a traditional sale (it's a short sale), it comes with additional stresses. The main difficulty is that you don't know when you have to move! Well, that's not entirely true as one can certainly pack up and move anytime they want to, but moving is no small task and we didn't want to do it one day sooner than we have to.

We put our house on the market back in April, submitted an offer to the bank the first week in May and then we waited...and waited...and waited. Nothing. I advised Dave that we could get a call that the offer was approved and we would have to move with little notice, he didn't all the way believe me because the bank had not been fast to respond to anything. Well, that call came and frankly, I was glad. We have been living in a bit of limbo, knowing the move is coming, just not sure when.

Even though the call came because our agent had a hunch, we ran on to the field and began calling plays; scour the classifieds, call rental agencies, put the word out to family and friends, we're looking for a new place to live! There was lots of, "Fill this out..." and "How is your credit? We will be running a background check you know, AND it IS $40 per applicant. Oh, but don't fret, we will keep your file active for a full 6 months!" Which is all okay, but the fact of the matter is, we are your dream tenants...we are not the people who put holes in walls and allow our dog to chew and scratch everything in sight. No, we need to take a different approach, we need to market ourselves to homeowners looking for us!

I created a pdf and put it out via e-mail and social media, within a few hours we had two really great locations to choose from and we found a place to rent! It's less than one mile from where we live now and basically, in the same neighborhood close to town and Mason's school. I am over the moon about what a lovely little house it is. It's a 3 bedroom/2 bath on a lot that is maybe a little smaller than where we are now. It has a deck of the whole back of the house with a portion of the deck covered with a ceiling fan for those warm nights when you want to be outside. There is no grass but other outdoor living areas with rock walk ways, lots of little planters, fall trees, a fig tree, a lemon tree, an apple tree and an outdoor fire pit. Oh, and another perk, it has a hot tub! The kitchen is small, but it is lovely, all white tile with newer appliances. Finally, there is a breakfast nook popping right out of the front of the house, just another fun, quirky feature of the house. Having lived in a larger space, we will have some adjustments to make, but all in all, this is a great place for us to live until it's time to make the big move. I'll send out change of address once we sign our lease and know for sure our deal is done!

While we were finding our new home, we also got word that our short sale has been approved and we close on 9/25 - perfect for our 9/15 move in to the new house. Finally, it feels like things are going our way and working out without a continuous stressful effort!

I will comfortably call this Intentional Winning finding a place to live!!

It's Hard to Come Back...

Intentional Winning has a definitive point of view - it is about making your dreams that have not come true, come true. It's so clear to me, I eat, sleep and breathe it...but I have stopped living it.

Like so many, I have been living through difficult times not only with the universally struggling economy, but personally on the level of, who am I really? Why am I here? It's a strange place for me to be because I know who I am! I know what I am supposed to do, however, every time I set my sails, the wind changes. This makes me wonder, am I off course? I keep coming back to what makes me happy and what's working, continuing my college education and creating RiverLights Originals.

I stopped posting regularly popping in only occasionally but I want to come back. I want to share my journey from a more honest perspective, less Rah! Rah! cheer leading and more motivation from a place of honesty. I want to motivate you, and me with the truth. Not the truth that outs the overbearing pseudo-celebrity who takes advantage of those who turn to her for mentoring, or the others who preach the importance of being "real" and "approachable" only to not return phone calls or e-mails. No, I want to share my journey, what really happened with ZipperBack Gloves and what the outcome of our tax audit is. The way we plan to make Dave's dream come true that will have us moving across the country in the next 12-18 months. Heck, a cross country move to a new state, new jobs, a new school, and who knows what else should make for some enjoyable reading!

I hope you'll join me and share your experiences, thoughts and ideas as we go along, as we find our course and the wind fills our sails. Let me know how I can help you and rest assured, I will return your calls and e-mails!

If You Don't Have Something Nice to Say...

We've all heard that before, right? ...Don't say anything at all. Well, that is pretty much where I have been. I started out this year longing for the truth, the truth about my family finances, my education, my weight, my career, the whole shebang! As I looked at what the truth really was, it seemed there were possible consequences for putting them out on my blog, not just for me, but for some of the people involved with me. It is never my intention to hurt anyone, and if I tell a truth about my experience with someone else, well, it might not shine a very good light. In some cases, I want to, I want to so badly I can hardly stand myself, but the fact remains, it's not my intention to hurt any one else. I have to rely on my faith that while that someone is out in a public forum telling half-truths and sometimes lies, well, that will come back to them in time, it's not necessary to share what I know about their deceit.

So each time I feel inspired to get real and share a truth, I have to check in and ask myself, What is my real intention with this writing, and what might the consequences be for all involved? If it even remotely looks like my writing is for cathartic purposes only or could possibly appear slanderous, I'm not writing it for this forum. For now, I'm choosing to live with the Golden Rule, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."