Month of Love Day 10 - Ty Rowe

Day 10 Month of Love goes to Ty Rowe. Ty is an Auburn local whose family roots run deep. He grew up here, graduated from Placer High School, left home and went to the Culinary Institute of America in NYC. He graduated and traveled the world before settling back in his hometown of Auburn opening one of our most favorite restaurants in 1994, Bootlegger’s Old Town Tavern. It was the place you went when you had a birthday, anniversary, or after a long weekend of moving and you just needed a great meal. Most people would not go to Bootlegger’s dressed in dirty clothe’s after moving, but we did. We did because we knew Ty and he just wanted us to feel welcome, eat amazing food, and go home happy. He didn’t care what you were wearing, what you did for a living, or where you lived, he just wanted to take care of you and have you leave your time with him feeling better than when you met. Okay, that was most of the time, because there were times if he thought you were full of shit, he would tell you to your face. If you didn’t like that and popped on Facebook to bitch about it, he would tell you publicly, too. It was not always easy but you knew where you stood with Ty.

We met when Mason wanted to put the new kitchen in at Alta Vista Community Charter School in 2013. Someone suggested we reach out to Ty to not only help guide us on how to do that, but also how to start fundraising. Ty met with Mason in late 2013 and asked him how much money he wanted to raise, Mason replied, “Enough to put the kitchen in at Alta Vista.” Yes, the simplicity of how a child thinks. Ty told Mason to get to it, start planning and talking about what he wanted to do and Ty said, “We’ll kick it off with a fundraiser at the restaurant. Let’s think Valentine’s Day, you sell tickets and we’ll plan a great meal with chocolate for dessert.” Mason and Ty were on a mission and though I said yes to Mason in terms of pursuing the project, Ty was one of the first “other adults” who said yes, too. The fundraiser was a lovely night raising over $2000 for the kitchen project, but even more than that, it started a friendship that became very meaningful very quickly. In July of 2018, he taught Mason to flambe’ for an upcoming cooking demo, Mason knew how, but it was not consistent. Ty got with him and said, “No dude, you need more alcohol, lots more alcohol! Rookie.” LOL! That was the last time we saw Ty.

Ty worked with Mason on recipes, he came and spent a whole day with him teaching him tips & tricks before he competed on Chopped Junior, and continued to be a sounding board for Mason when he needed time away from Dave and I. What I loved most about Ty was that he was true to himself, he would tell you to quit being a pussy, or that you were straight up wrong if that’s what he thought. He and I did not always agree, but he always made sure I knew he loved me…that I was wrong, but he loved me, LOL! He just made sure that we were 100% aware that he was there for us, day or night, no matter what. Dave and I were going through a tough time when his mom was sick and I popped into Pete’s after getting a text from Ty. “What’s up girl?” he would ask as he engulfed me in a hug. I told him I was sad, that Dave was struggling and I didn’t know what was happening. Ty laughed and said, “You cannot be worried about you and Dave.” I didn’t answer and he kept talking, “Dave loves you like there is no tomorrow. Don’t ever try to convince me that he has eyes for anyone else, it’s you girl, only you.” Yeah, he tuned in and made sure we knew it.

The beauty of this post is that so many people will say these same things about TY, not just us Partaks. I love how he loved us, I’m so grateful for the time he spent with Mason and how he made Dave and I feel like family. ‘Love you girl” is how he ended every phone call or when he left me when we were together. It’s hard to accept, even 6 months since he’s passed that he’s gone…our little town and even this small world are not the same without him. Ty left this world way too soon, but thank goodness he was here and we got to call him friend. Ty, you are an example that so many could learn from, you were an open book, “what you see is what you get” in the purest form. I love you man, I miss you every day, and I hope they have the finest dining, the best wine, and acres of God’s country for you to farm and grow your own amazing food in heaven. #Monthoflove #gonetoosoon

Month of Love Day 9 - My Tribe

Day 9 Month of Love is a little less specific but not one bit less important. Today I want to love on my tribe, a group of men and women who are not always in the daily mix of my life, but they are absolutely there when I need them. I could name many of you, but I'm not going to because I don't want to leave anyone out. It's also because this group of people are people that I may have included or will include on an individual basis through my Month of Love. 

With all of that said, it takes a village to live in today's world, especially if you have kids. Even if you don't have kids, there are still times you need someone to meet a utility worker because you can't get off work, or you may need a ride home after dropping your car off at the mechanic. Kids make things exponentially more challenging with school schedules, sports, and other activities, medical appointments and sick days. I only have one kid and a husband who is in the mix ready to help, but there are still times we need help. I'm not sure how you all do it with 2, 3, 4, and more kids! And some of you do it with multiple kids and no significant other. We need each other, it's that simple.

I feel so very blessed that I have amazing friends, both men, and women who happily step up to help me and my family. It can be something as simple as grabbing a box from our porch so it doesn't get stolen to staying over in our house with our dogs when we vacation so they don't have to be put in a kennel. This post could be really long with all the examples of how I feel like the people in our lives step up and help keep us moving forward but I'm going to just leave it with the message that I am so unbelievably grateful for every one of you that show up in my life. If you show up for a minute and hold a door for me when my hands are full, or show up continually for years I feel like that is a wonderful gauge of wealth and prosperity. We've had lots of money, and we've been so broke we had to count change to put gas in the car. Money comes and money goes, but having real people who will help you roll your pennies is what life is really made up of. I love you guys, all of you even if for the fact I know I can call you if I need to. Happy Month of Love to my Tribe, I'm your tribe, too!

Month of Love Day 8 - For the Love of Dogs

Day 8 in my Month of Love goes to Riley, Spencer, Gunner and all of our furry kids. I'm mostly writing about Riley as he was my "First Best Boy." That doesn't really mean anything super significant, but Mason hated it when he could understand that if Riley was first, he must be second.

Riley was always happy unless he did something wrong and was punished but he would soon forget and be happy again. He always greeted us as if we had been gone for years even if we just walked across the street to get the mail. Riley loved to sleep and he would always be the last one out of bed, but once we were up and moving he had to be with us. He also loved to eat. He would paw at the freezer for his favorite Bowowlicious snack or get up on the kitchen table to take a little taste of my pie...he got in trouble for that! He was always up for a good game of tug. He made sure that the deer and turkeys kept their distance but was friendly to everyone else he met. There wasn’t much he didn’t like. I had to think hard but I finally remembered he didn’t link to be shampooed or sprayed with stuff that made him smell good, he preferred to be a little stinky. We lost Riley in a tragic accident while we were away and it was the heartbreak of my life. I didn't have to worry about keeping the gates closed or calling him in for barking late at night. We had more room in bed but I know we didn't sleep as good. Riley was a unique dog, a one of a kind that has been impossible to replace. There are days and as I write this post, I still cry. Riley left us too soon (2002-2009) but he left some lessons for all of us. Say goodbye like it’s your last day on earth. Say hello as if you had been gone for a long time. Be passionate in all you do. Take advantage of the little pleasures. Play hard and rest well. Find a sunny spot on a warm day or lay by the fire on a cold one. Nothing is better medicine to cure your ills than a furry companion. Go for a walk or a run every day. Love the ones you’re with, love them with all you have and all that you are, it's the best.

Not long after we lost Riley, Steve and Roberta helped Dave buy me another dog... (still so grateful to them!) any dog lover knows they are irreplaceable and impossible to live without. Spencer came to live with us and like they have a way of doing, he picked me. I was still grief-stricken and when we went to meet some puppies, Spencer climbed right up on me and licked my tears. It took Spencer a long time to warm up to us, he slept by himself and would let me hold him in short stints. He was easily 2 years old when he started to jump up to cuddle with me on the couch or a chair. He couldn't be more different from Riley, but he is amazing in his own unique way.

And then there is Gunner! You all know Gunner and the hell he put us through in his first 18 months of life! I wasn't sure any of us were going to survive, especially him! Gunner was Dave's dream dog and he brings so much light and laughter into our lives, I can't even fathom what the day will be like when we have to say goodbye. He is loyal, and happy, and presents to people this big-scary dog front when in fact, he's quite the scardy cat. If Dave or Mason yell at the TV during football, you can find Gunner trying to hide in my legs. He is fickle in the funniest ways, I can call him to come to get in bed with me/us and he will run into the bathroom and lay on the floor. What? Dave will call him and he will run to me, and the other night, I called him and he jumped up on the couch with Dave and looked at me like, "What are you going to do about it, huh?" LOL!

Yes, we love our dogs. Dave has loved some cats and we've both had horses that we've loved on as well. Our animal-kids are just as near and dear to us as the humans we love, in fact, we might love some of our animals more than some people. LOL! I'm sure if you are a dog mom, you get what I'm saying. Happy Month of Love! #MonthOfLove #LoveOurDogs

Month of Love Day 7 - Al and Linda

Day 7 Month of Love goes to Al Wright. Oh, Al where do I start? We've had so much fun through the years and you are the epitome of service, to your community, your family, and your friends. If my memory serves me, we met because I won a photo shoot with you from a Kiwanis event I went to with Mikey. Is that right? It doesn't really matter because no matter where or how it started, I am so glad it did!

You had become known as my personal photographer but more than that, you are one of my dearest friends. I laugh when I think of you as my personal photographer because I feel so lucky to be your friend and I will forever be grateful that you bless me with not only your gifts with a camera, but your gifts of kindness, laughter, and friendship.

We have so many great memories but one of my favorites is the night in the dark room. It sounds so intriguing, "the night in the darkroom" but in fact, you were teaching me how to process film, old school style, and we had a really great conversation about love, what it means to love, how to know if you're really in love, and how that applies in real (complicated) life. I think the conversation went to how we mature and what we think about the way we treated other people and is it appropriate to go back now and say I'm sorry or are these things in our pasts better left alone. Yeah, I still think about these things as I am raising Mason and it always takes me back to that night in the dark room with you. And then there is the night I wanted photos to send Dave... LOL! I'm not posting any of those, and really, in today's social media climate, these would look like granny-panty sexy photos, but I'm still not posting them! I know you are laughing because it was a fun and funny shoot. Oh, and remember the guy in the coffee shop who drew me?!! He was a character for sure!!

As we moved through the years, I married Dave and had Mason and you married your true love Linda and you've continued to be a light in my life. I love that you and I stay connected even when we don't talk as often as I would like, we can meet up and it's like I'm living in Alameda again and we were just together the day before. You, my friend, are a man who lives his life in service and love. You are authentically love & light even when you are hating on #45. I love you Al and Linda, too! We need to make a date to get together this summer, maybe a day on the boat or maybe something else, but some face-to-face time for sure. Happy Month of Love! #MonthOfLove

Month of Love Day 6 - Lisa and David

Month Of Love Day 6 is for Lisa and David Anderson! I love our story! I had a recruiting company, Missing Link that my partner at the time and I ran out of his house until we could generate enough income to acquire office space. When we did, it was next door to another business that sold promotional products for business and a mortgage broker. She and I became friends by saying hello in passing coming and going from work. In December of 2000, I was planning a birthday party at a mutual friends house and Lisa caught wind of it. She popped into our office and wanted to know why she wasn't invited. LOL! I recall her being somewhat put off that everyone she knew was invited but she wasn't. She was not rude, it was more funny/friendly, the way only a fellow Sagittarius could say it, but the fact of the matter was, she grew up in Alameda so she really did know everybody, the problem was, I was the newbie and I did not know everybody, and we didn't really know each other so I didn't have her on the guest list. Of course, she was invited and that is how this amazing lady became one of my very best friends!

She and I have had more fun than any two girls should be allowed to have. We have laughed and cried, seen each other through some tough emotional times, but the good times have far outweighed the bad. We've been camping, wine tasting, skiing, she's been with me through numerous epic radio wins the most noteworthy being the trip to Las Vegas. I also told her I would be getting Oprah Winfrey tickets and asked her if she wanted to go. Of course, she did but she wanted to know how I was getting the tickets and that was when I let her in on Intentional Winning, which of course did not have that name then, but that's exactly how I did it. I told her I would be setting my intention to get through when the phone lines were open to get tickets and we would be going. And we did! It was kind of a bust for a show, but the trip to Chicago was super fun! We've also been to New York together on a girls trip to rival all others. I have Lisa to thank for my current career as she introduced me to the mortgage business and got me started when I was looking for my next great gig. She and David welcomed us into their lives sharing their houses in Truckee and Peurto Vallarta, they are as much a part of our life and family as the ones we share blood with. She was an integral part of our wedding, birthdays, Mason's birth and now his life. I can't imagine my life without her and David and I hope I don't have to! Zib-Zoob sister, I see lots more laughs in our future, I love you both to the moon and back!! #MonthOfLove

Day 5 Month of Love - Hotty Roddy

Day 5 Month of Love is for Hotty Roddy. Rod and I met in 1996 in San Francisco when he walked into my business with a flyer for self-defense classes for women. I agreed to host a class and I loved it. I told him I wanted to teach with him and asked what I needed to do to be qualified and he replied, "Hang out and roll around on the floor with me." Yep, that's how it all started. We taught practical self-defense classes in the bay area and even traveled to Southern CA to teach. That road trip was a hoot. I won't tell the whole tall tale, but there were a few parts of that trip that come alive anytime we are together and the wine is flowing. Rod had an infected tooth, he knew something was up before we left, but he didn't realize the extent of it. While we were on the road, it was getting worse and worse until finally, I was driving and he was in the passenger seat sitting with his head in the seat, on his knees pushing his butt up until he was almost standing on his head!! He was rocking this way darn near in tears as I started looking for the nearest ER. I found one and a few hours later we had a diagnosis, a prescription for pain meds and Rod was hopped up on Dilaudid. He was so medicated that through his slurred speech I made out, "The doctor says no country!" He was weak, but he emphasized this. Yes, I love country music and Rod only likes one country song. I was playing the Gin Blossoms CD and the song, "She Reminds Me Of You" came on and he was sure I was trying to slip him some Garth Brooks or George Strait. The other noteworthy story from that trip was that he took me to a banana farm and with over 200 varieties of bananas, I bought an apple! It was a passion fruit apple, I had to have one!

Through the years Rod and I have been friends through too many boyfriends and girlfriends, good times and some not so good. We've had deep meaningful conversations, "No-no, no middle!" he would say when I would tell him, "Slow down, you need to get to know her, you are cutting out the middle" and of course conversations about nothing at all. We’ve been roommates and even experienced 9/11 together. He took me ice skating and out to dinner on my 30th birthday when I didn't have a date and I loaned him my car for weeks when his was on the blink, or he didn't have one... We've gone out to dinner on their boat with a ride home in the dark, I didn't like that one as much (the ride home in the dark part)! LOL! He is Jerry to my Elaine. I'm so happy that Hotty has found his true love in Cathleen and I love her, too! Happy Month of Love Rod and Cat, I love you bo

Day 4 Month of Love - Diana

Day 4 Month of Love goes to Miss Diana. Diana and I met when I was pregnant with Mason, we met at the Crawdad festival in Isleton, CA and it seems like we've been close friends ever since. I'm sure it didn't go just like that, but I don't all the way remember us not being close even though we've never really lived in any sort of close proximity of each other from that first night. We just have that kind of girlfriend love, it sparks and just stays lit. <3 font="">

I remember the first time Diana came and stayed with me for a long weekend, Mason was a newborn and Dave was deployed to Iraq. We were sitting out on the deck looking at the canyon and she was lamenting that I had it all, "Man, look at your life. You're happily married, have this precious new baby, a great home, some money in the bank, you have it all." I can recall feeling like, yeah, it's pretty good when I what came out of my mouth was, 'Yeah, it's really awesome but don't be fooled, it's not that simple, all of this can be gone in an instant. What's more important is that you live every minute appreciating what you have and telling those people you love that you love them." I think in true, soft-hearted Diana form she got emotional, started to cry and told me she loved me. We had lots of fun that weekend and it set the tone for many more good times, camping, river trips, Christmas in Sonora, dancing at the boot bar in Clayton, and so many more. We talk about all the things people need to talk about but so many are uncomfortable bringing up, really, "debris on the track" is something everyone should understand, don't you think? One of my favorite memories is of rewriting the lyrics to the song, 'Who's That Man" by Toby Keith. Of all the times I wished we had written something down, it's this one! She and I started singing along with the radio and plugged in the funniest lyrics, we were both laughing so hard we were crying. I'm sure when one of us noted we should write it down, we were sure it was SO funny, how could we forget? All I can remember is it was really funny and she is laughing right now reading this, and she can't remember the lyrics either!!

Diana is the epitome of tough but tender, she would have blazed trails in the old west, held her own in a poker game, plow the field, plant the crops, and turn right around to be at the school the next morning to teach needlepoint and how to make your own laundry detergent to the young girls. I don't think there is anything this lady can't do, yet she is pretty in pink, wears clothes that are flowy & ruffled, and finds more joy in makeup and lip gloss than should even be legal! LOL! I guess what I'm trying to say is that Diana is one of my favorite hippy-chick sisters, she's independent, able, smart, witty, and fun. I love you Missy and can't wait to see where the rest of our lives take us, rest assured, we'll be laughing all the way!

Day 3 Month of Love, Terry

Day 3 of my #MonthOfLove goes to my only sister, Teri Cartwright.

Terry (yes, I learned her as Terry, T-E-R-R-Y from the time I could spell so when she changed her spelling, I just never could fully adapt) is my only sister and she and I are the first and last born of 5 kids, we are more than 20 years apart in age. This is really only relevant because when I came along, she was almost married. Her sweetheart Bill, and now husband all these years were assumed to be my parents when they took me out with them. That would set the tone for how Terry took care of me and everyone else who has come into her life. Yes, she is a natural born nurturer to her very core.

I spent many years of my adolescent life with Terry and Bill. There were times it was really cool to have a much older sister and of course, sometimes, not so much. The fun stuff was clothes, make-up, she advocated to my mom to let me date before my mom wanted me to, and she put those boyfriends at ease. I had a safe space to go stay when as a teen I was at odds with my mom and dad, and later when I couldn't find my way as a young adult. My sister was always there for me even if I didn't deserve her alliance.

Our lives have gone in different directions, some because of our age difference, but more so because we live so far apart. Even still, we managed a trip to Las Vegas to see Clay Walker and she came to help me when Mason was born and Dave was deployed. I have not always been a good steward of her love and loyalty. I've behaved badly some due to immaturity and some because I'm hard-headed and get in my own way. I'm sorry Terry for the times I've been insensitive and not been more loving toward you and all you do for all of us. You took care of both mom and dad so they could stay with family and not have to be in a home, and you continue to take care of all of the people in your life. I love you and appreciate you more than you know, and I hope we can spend more time laughing this year even if it's only on the phone. #monthoflove #sisters

Day 2 Month of Love - Jules

Today I want to love on Julie Anna Boles Ballard. Jules has been my best friend since the 4th grade when I wanted to be her friend because she had ponies! Yep, I wanted to go riding with her, and riding we did! We have been friends for over 40 years now and can I just tell you, like my marriage we rarely fight. This woman is the epitome of Phenomenal Woman, she is strong, determined, smart, funny (she thinks she's REALLY funny!), and did I say awesome? 

This woman has made amazing things happen in her life. I've seen her get straight As through elementary and high school, put herself through college at Stanford University, save lives as her career, and just as she hit her stride at mid-life, she put herself back in the game and got accepted to Yale University! Yes, she is enrolled at Yale and will be a Physician Assistant next year. 

I can't tell you how proud I am of Julie, like loving Dave, there are no words for how honored I am to be her friend and to be able to be on this journey with her. Many of you may not know that one of my biggest life disappointments is that my granny and Mason never got to know each other. That is a little less bitter because Mason has Julie. This may seem like a weird correlation, but to me, Jules is right up there with my granny as a phenomenal woman. I will talk about my granny in another post and you all can see how that connects, but for this post here, I'm so glad Mason and Jules not only know each other, they love each other. Jules brings things to Mason's life experience that I could never even come close to doing for him. Jules, thank you for not falling in love with Dave when I tried to set you up, and even more for being in my life and loving my people. I love you to the moon and back, the place where our horses and doggies run free, and I can't wait to see what the next 40 years bring us! #MonthOfLove😍😘😍